Nothing Here Makes Sense!

Some ridiculous babble that I wrote when I was bored. I may or may not add more later.

First day of school after the mid-term break. It was about to be the weirdest day by far, of my life.

Walking casually into the classroom, I dumped my bag by the edge of my table, earning a loud thump and an "Ow! Hey!" for my efforts.

"Sorry." I muttered, not in a very apologetic mood, and looked around the classroom. "Where's Ms Murphy?" I asked no-one in particular. It was very unusual for any of us to get to the classroom before her, as our Maths teacher was a firm believer in punctuality.

"I'm up here."

All of us stopped to survey the classroom. "Did anyone else hear that?" I heard coming from someone on the other side of the room. The voice was unrecognisable - a mix between Mickey Mouse and someone experimenting with helium.

"Christ, John, what happened to your voice?" exclaimed one of his friends. The boy in question had both hands wrapped around his throat and was looking amazed and frightened at the same time.

"Um, is anyone going to pay attention to me?" I heard Ms Murphy's voice again.

"Where the hell is that coming from?" I said, getting slightly frustrated.

"Check the ceiling. And watch your language, you."

It was with very surprised eyes that I saw Ms Murphy apaarently stuck with her back to the ceiling.

"You seem to be stuck to the ceiling." I pointed out nonchalantly.

"I do indeed."

"Any ideas on how to get her down?" That came from a girl beside me.

"Not really."

"Phooey." huffed Ms Murphy. "Well try and hurry up will you? All the blood is starting to rush to my head."

We all stood there and thought for a minute.


"Oh what now?" I exclaimed, exasperated.

"I'm stuck to the ceiling too!" came John's squeeky reply, he was in a bit of a panic.

"How did you manage that?" I asked him.

"I dunno!" he shouted "One second I had my feet firmly planted on the floor, and the next - well... y'know."

"Double phooey."

"Ah!" That was me this time, as I found myself unceremoniously joining my classmate and teacher on the ceiling. "Will someone please go get the Year Head?!" I shouted, caught between blinding panic and bubbling fury.

"I'll do it!"

"Hurry the frick up!" John squealed from the other side of the room... ceiling... whatever.

We all fell into an uncomfortable silence after whoever it was left to find Mr Smith. From my veiwpoint on the ceiling I can hardly be expected to have noted who's face it was that fled the room. I felt rather like a light bulb at that moment; bored and getting a bird's eye veiw of the classroom, except for the fact that I didn't glow. I don't mean to say that all lightbulbs are bored either, but I would think they are.

"Nice day out." I heard Patrick remark from under me.

"Not the time for a conversation about the weather, Patrick." I said tersley.


Several more moments of uncomfortable silence. To add another morsel of impossibility, a tumbleweed blew lazily past, and the whole class turned to stare at it.



"What the-"

"How is this any of this happening?!"

I looked around to find that the whole class had decided (well, not really) to join us. The floor was now empty of living persons, and all that was left were the wooden desks and plastic chairs - classic classroom furniture. We all shared expressions of puzzlement, before I found myself unceremoniously squished into somebody's armpit. Apparently the God of the Impossible-ness was making a reappearance and had forced us into a ball of disgruntled people.

"I don't even want to know how this happened." I groaned, my voice muffled by cloth and fat-person.

"What is this?" I heard Mr Smith say from below us, and I could almost hear the trademark raised-eyebrow he would be sporting.

"We seem to be stuck to the ceiling."

"I can see that."

He left again to reappear with a broom in hand. In a manner totally ignorant of proper decorum, he started to prod all of us with the end of it.

"Ow! Watch it! You're poking tender places there."

"My apologies." Sarcasm to the max.

As suddenly as it happened, it was over, and we all found ourselves in a heap on the floor.

"Did that really happen, or did those mushrooms I ate finaly catch up with me?" I asked in a daze.

"I'm pretty sure that happened..."  There were murmurs of agreement from other people.

All of us picked ourselves up and dust off, then stood looking at eachother awkwardly, unsure of what to do. It was safe to say that usual protocol had been thrown out the window when we saw Ms Murphy stuck to the ceiling.

Just as we thought that nothing weirder could happen, the principle walked in wearing a yellow chicken suit and told us all to go home.

I absentmidedly picked up my schoolbag and left. My feet were carrying me home with no conscious effort being applied by my brain.

I was halfway home when I realised I was missing a shoe.

Pretty sure I'm lying in a coma somewhere and this is a figment of my extremely mucked-up imagination.

The End

2 comments about this story Feed