I know that I'm not in love with him - I mean the very thought of it's absurd. When I'm near him, it's not like I lose the ability to speak or get so dumbstruck that I can't string two words together. But still there's something there.
My logic tells me to knock it the hell off. He's very nice. I'm sure we could be good friends, but I am also quite positive I'm not his type. And what the hell am I thinking. But still, when I get ready to be in his presence, the butterflies creep in and my head gets dizzy. Not in love. Damn it, heart I said, I'm not in love.
When he's near, I stop myself just short of staring into his eyes. Did I catch him staring into mine? Am I thinking too deeply? Am I just imagining. I've got to get this out of my head. I've got to get this to stop.
I go to bed at night - determined to keep him off my mind. Knowing damn well that his mind is not on me. And it shouldn't be. I'm the one that's got to stop. I'm the one that's got to remember that crushes are things that school girls have, and I'm no school girl.
I put him out of my brain. Not in love, not in love not in love.