When we were back inside, I was instantly relieved. I appreciated every second I could get away from being out there, even if it wasn't the first thing I'd think about. I'd never really appreciated how nice it would be to get out from that weather, as I'd always assumed that it would never end and I'd end up dying out there.
I'd returned to my room and took a few moments to relax. When I heard someone come through the door, I already knew it was Hawk. The shiver that went up my spine was there and I only ever really had that reaction when I was truly afraid. However, I decided I wouldn't let her walk all over me. Not that she had, I was just tired of being seen as a nuisance. I figured it was time for me to live up to my name.
“Had some fun with our leader, I see.” She stated blankly.
“What of it?”
“Despite the circumstances, I cannot find myself to fully trust you and I have no idea why she suddenly does. Did something else happen that I'm not aware of?”
“I don't think it was sudden...I was just being nice for the most part.”
“I'm sure you know as much as I do that she misinterprets actions like that and it'll only end up provoking her to do that...unfortunate behavior we saw before.”
“But, what if that's not a bad thing? You did say she was under a lot of pressure. Don't you think she deserves to be happy?”
Hawk paused before giving me another glare.
“You damned well know this isn't about that. I can see right through you. I know you don't have your shit together and I'm not going to lose her over something I could've prevented.”
“What do you want me to do, then?Just pretend that I'm nothing to her?”
“It would only be for the best. The best for everyone in the end, miss. I'm sure you do know this, too.”
“I know you want to make a name for yourself. Everyone in this place does, but at what cost do you think?”
“Well, in case you haven't heard...I've already given myself one. Black says she likes it.”
“Let me guess. You chose White, didn't you?” Her voice was bitter.
“Tsk, as if you're the first.” She muttered before turning her back to me.
“So, there was someone else before me?”
“I'm not fond of seeing my family go through heartbreak...and she's the only one I have left.”
“What happened to the others?”
“All have perished. Such is life, I guess.”
“But you don't know if it'll happen again.”
“Why would anything change? Especially after all her and I have been through?”
“I don't know about that, but things have changed for me. Rather drastically, really. A short while ago, I was cold and alone out there...but I'm here now and I'll try to make things better. It's the least I can do.”
“Then do one thing for me.”
“Stay away from Black.”
“This isn't open for discussion. Have a good day, miss.” Hawk said as she left through the door.
I mumbled angrily to myself and stood there. I understood where she was coming from, but I also believed in my own opinions, too. I was still confused and in the end, her words had won this battle as my opinion of myself still wasn't very optimistic. I didn't think it could hurt anyone if I were to stay away from Black, anyway.
Unfortunately, fate kept bringing me back to her and we were often forced to go out, or to plan some sort of strategy together. We were currently in one of rooms discussing some sort of ambush when she finally picked up on my awkward and distant vibe.
“Err...so you say we should approach from the back and take out the guards? Why not just go all in and kill all of them?” Black asked, slightly irked.
“We need to be careful if we don't want to lose anyone...” I replied absentmindedly.
“Would be faster, though.”
“Ugh, and what makes you think we have the time to slink around and kill them off one by one? They'd already have attacked us by then.”
“Not if we set up several groups. We need to be more organized.”
Black said something under her breath and left the room. I followed after her even though I knew she probably wouldn't want to talk.
“Did I do something wrong?” I asked, trying not to anger her.
“No, my head just hurts...I can't seem to think too far ahead like you do, so it just baffles me. It's so frustrating.” She said as she seemingly spoke to the wall.
“I'm sorry...” I looked down.
“What for?” Black turned at looked at me.
“For upsetting you, I guess.”
“I just said it wasn't you...”
I said nothing and stared at the floor.
“What's been going on?” She asked with a serious expression.
“I need to go clear my head...”
“You're going to go out alone?”
“No, just...gonna sleep for a bit.”
“Later.” I mumbled before walking back to my room.