"Sh..." I cooed to Tekanero. She stood there looking at me in wonder, her eyes wide with shock. i took my hand from her mouth. "What's going on?' She asked quietly. "Those girls who beat us yesterday..." I trailed off. "Go on." She said.
"Well, I put a stink bomb in the girls' bathroom specifically targeted at their 'makeup time'." I quoted, waiting on a response from her. "Holy shit!" Tekanero exclaimed. We giggled at my prank for a moment. I pause, finding myself the happiest I've been in a long while.
She continued giggling, a beautiful smile spreading across her face. Our eyes met for a moment but she began to blush and looked down at the ground. "Thank you, again, for helping me. That was pretty awesome of you." She said, trailing off. "My pleasure." I smiled at her as she returned the favor.
Her grin suddenly turned sour, and she backed up towards the wall, sliding down into a sliding position. "You okay?" I asked, sitting down next to her. 'I'm..." She pause, her arms wrapping around her knees and resting her head on them, "I just didn't plan on befriending somebody." She said, her voice cracking.
"What do you mean?" I said, putting a comforting arm around her. She began to sob as she tried to get out of my grasp. I withdrew my hand but continued to help her. "I was planning on killing myself! There was an official date I had set up for it!" She looked at me now, tears streaming down her face.
I reached out to touch her face but hesitated, mid-air. Her face lifted and she nodded telling me that it was okay. I still didn't budge. not wanting to make her mad. "She suddenly grabbed my hand, pushing it to her face. "But that calls for not making close relationships with people. I don't want to leave anyone behind to mourn."
She said and I kept stroking her face. I nodded in understanding. "Life sucks." I half-smiled as our eyes met once again. "But somehow we can move on. We see that nothing in this world is as easy as we want it to be. And maybe that's how everyone feels sometimes; That the world is crumbling upon them. But we manage to pick up the pieces. The avalanche of rocks may fall upon you but we move the rocks to seek the light in the darkness."
I paused, then continuing, "Most of us feel alone in this. Struggle for the light. But we soon realize that we aren't the only lost souls in the dark." I said, hoping that my words soothed her somehow. She was staring at me now, my hands being the only thing I focused on as they now rested in my lap.
She put a hand on mine. "Could you perhaps be the other lost soul in the darkness with me?" I looked up at her then, her eyes twinkling at me. "Finally, someone understands me." I said, smiling at her. She gave me a look that made my heart implode in on itself. And I suddenly didn't feel so alone anymore.
When everyone around me is perfect and I seem to be the only one still feeling incomplete with myself, it was nice for someone to share my grief for once. We sat there for the longest time, sharing stories, past experiences, heartbreaks, tragedies, and interests. We talked about music and the bands the we liked.
I love that we really weren't that different and a specific bond between us began to build on itself. We didn't know how much time had past until she checked her phone. It was 2:45 in the afternoon. The bell would ring in 15 minutes, "Crap." She muttered, "See? We got carried away." I laughed. "Ya think?" She smiled sarcastically, then it was silent for a moment.
"So about not leaving anyone behind..." I began, not sure what to say. "You are an exception." She spoke, answering the question that had been floating around in my head. "I just wanna warn you to now get too close. I'm afraid that I'll hurt you when it comes time for that day that I go." She said, looking down at the bathroom tile sadly.
The words stung painfully but I had to accept this. "You won't hurt me." I lied. "I just hope that I can help you through this. If you want me to help you, I will. Its your choice, not mine. Its what YOU want, and I'm not about to get in the way. But if I can turn your life around with my friendship, then maybe you can turn my life around too."
I spoke, trying to announce that I could maybe help her out of this hole she's fallen into. She looked at me for a moment, observing my body language as she spoke, "Usually people have tried, but they can't fix my broken soul. Good luck though." She said, almost as if she was doubting me.
"If I can't then I'll do what you want - Help you plan further or get some stuff for you. I just want to make things easier for you, whether it be being your friend, or helping plan your funeral and arranging your suicide. Either way, you can't get rid of me." I offered a smile. She smiled with me, and I immediately felt the urge to kiss her.
I looked at her lips, and how perfect they were. She went wide-eyed as I leaned in and the bell rand right then. "I-Uh, sorry... Haha." I nervously laughed, got up and unlocked the door, her walking out with me. I walked her to her bus, which was the bus right behind mine. We practically skipped a whole day of school without getting caught.
I felt such a happiness with Tekanero. I couldn't explain it. The way my body reacted to her in the though. That was DEFINITELY something I couldn't understand. Maybe I like her. NO. Karem, the last thing you need is a stupid schoolgirl crush to be worried about.
Friends. JUST friends. Got it?! Got it. Wait. Why do I have to convince myself in the first place if I supposedly DON'T have feelings for her? Shut up Karem!