NORTH AMERICAN EXISTENTIALISMMature

GET WITH IT

JOHN THOUGHT HE'D NEVER GET SICK OF INTERNET PORN.

THEN HE MET HIS WIFE.  SOON AFTER THE DISTINCT SNIK SNIK SOUND OF KNITTING NEEDLES COULD SOMETIMES BE HEARD THROUGH THE DOOR OF HIS STUDY, AT LEAST BRIEFLY BETWEEN THE MOANING AND GROANING COMING FROM HIS WIFES DESKTOP.

BUT JOHN HAD A SECRET.  IT WAS A SECRET SO SHOCKING THAT HAD IT BEEN BROUGHT TO LIGHT WOULD INDEED ROCK THE VERY FOUNDATION OF HIS MARRIAGE.

JOHN MARRIED GRETA IN A PSILOCYBIC HAZE THAT VICIOUSLY ENSNARED ALL RECOLLECTIONS JOHN MAY HAVE HAD OF THAT NIGHT SAVE FOR THE SOUND OF TED NUGENTS STRANGLEHOLD BEING PLAYED.  HE WISHES HE WAS DISAPOINTED.

GRETA  COULD NOT GET ENOUGH OF INTERNET PORN.

SHE WAS BY NO MEANS A  PORN CONNOISSEUR.  SHE LOVED IT ALL.  AMATEURS,  OLD LADIES, STRAIGHT UP PORNSTAR PORN, GOAT PLAY, PISSING, SHITTING, FISTING, CHOKING, THE WHOLE NINE.  SHE DIDNT LIKE ANAL THOUGH SEEING AS HOW CLASSY SHE WAS.

JOHNS SECRET WAS POT. 

HE THOUGHT HE LIKED INTERNET PORN, BUT THIS REEFER STUFF WAS THE BEES KNEES.  TURNS OUT THAT JOHN WAS NO SLOUCH IN THE ROLLING DEPARTMENT EITHER.  HE WOULD GET HIGH, KNIT AND WORK ON HIS SOCK PORTFOLIO.

JOHN FINALLY REALISED THAT HE HAD ENOUGH OF INTERNET PORN WHEN  IN THE MIDST OF LAYING PIPE TO HER, GRETA CONFESSED HER DESIRE TO BE BEATEN WHILE MAKING LOVE.

JOHN LOVED GRETA SO EVERYTIME THEY MADE LOVE HE WOULD BEAT THE PISS OUT OF GRETA.  SOON IT DIDNT MATTER IF HIS DEALER WAS LATE, OR THE HOSTESS PASTRY COMPANYS STOCK TOOK A NOSE DIVE BECAUSE AT THE END OF THE DAY HE WOULD MAKE LOVE TO HIS WIFE.  AND BEAT HER.  HE WOULD BEAT THAT SLUT BLUE.

SOON AFTER JOHN CANCELLED GRETAS PORN ACCOUNTS AND GRETA GREW HIS POT.

NOW ALL HE NEEDED WAS A PISTOL.

The End

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