Restaurants can be awfully stuffy places, full of rules of etiquette to follow and limited choices to make.
This makes them ripe for a bit of nonsensing.
I tick a box on the cipboard, then on second thoughts draw a small spaceship in the box instead. Then, since you can't have a spaceship by itself, I sketched a cowboy riding it and lassoing a swan. Handing the clipboard back to Percy, who rolls his eyes, I strip off and get in the shower, then put on my best suit.
Of course, putting it on in the shower tends to make it a bit wet and soapy, so I roll around on the carpet, using it like an enormous floor towel. The suit is pretty spectacular, it's actually about 100 different suits in one. A suit for every occasion was cut into small 5 inch by 5 inch squares then they were all jumbled up and sown back together again. My suit fits in everywhere.
"So Percy, " I said, patting him on the head, "where are we off to today?"
Percy held up the clipboard and tapped on a map that was attached. My swan seemed to be defecating on the city centre.
"Ahh, very nice. We wont have any problems getting in will we?"
"No sir. We've made a reservation and have informed the maître d' that their client is somewhat... eccentric. It's all taken care of."
With that I ran out of the building, jumped on my bicycle and peddled off to the restaurant, Percy running behind me as fast as he could.
When I arrived at the restaurant, the place was packed. I entered carrying my bicycle.
"Uh, sir, you can't bring that in here."
"I have a reservation. And put this in the freezer will you?" I said, handing him the bicycle, "I like my bikes to be kept cool."
Passing the bewildered employee, I sat down at the table which was obviously mine. It was already stacked high with flans. About 10 minutes later, Percy arrived, panting and sweating. I waved him over.
"Uh sir, you can't sit here, we have your reserved table in the VIP lounge sir."
"What! Of course this is my table, don't you see the flans! The flans!"
"It's the dessert display table sir, the flans are our speciality this week."
"Well, I love flans, so this table will do just fine. I'll have them all."
"All of them sir?"
"Yes. And there is a good reason too," I said, noticing that a lot of the restaurant was now paying me attention, "allow me to tell you a story."