No words can explain

Lunch time had always been the usual routine for me. Vash and I would get our lunches and we'd proceed to our group table, or as we like to call the elite table. The table was usually already filled with some sort of chaos, like Monique, CeCe, Mindy, Nicole and Regina all laughing about something really funny and random, Amber and Steven sitting together laughing with the others but not as much. When we arrive we'd eat and talk about our day so far, laugh a lot while eating then after that we just dump our trash and head on to next period. But today was different.

Vash and I were talking about How I met your mother's latest episode on our way to the elite table when I saw something that made me want to turn around. Sally  was standing by our table with her arm around Connor. I felt like there's someone with a swiss army knife right infront of me stabbing my heart. In fact, I even checked to see if there was anyone stabbing me right then and there. Negative.  There were two things in my mind right now. One, I'd like to run out of this cafeteria at the speed of light. Two, since I ordered a big bowl of mashed potatoes, I should throw it at Sally's face before I run off. But I can’t do that, In addition to making a scene, it’ll make me look bad in front of my friends and Connor.

When we got there Sally was bragging on about how Mrs. Hayfer praised her in Chemistry Class. I tried to act normal, but it felt really awkward. All I’m thinking was ‘What the heck do I usually do in the usual lunch situation?’ and ‘Why can’t I do it now?’ Maybe I should take a deep breath and… Wait a second.

It's not here anymore. That weird gut feeling I get when I see them together, The painful stab in the heart that makes me tear up, I don't understand why I don't feel any of those right now. I mean, I know I should be relieved that I'm not feeling sad anymore but it feels weird. All I know is that I feel empty, not the sad kind of "empty inside" but really empty. I feel normal. 

Sally and Connor had to go to their table so the usual chaotic nonsense in our table resumed. Except I wasn't joining in as much, I was still too busy thinking. I excused myself from our table to throw away my trash and head to the girls' bathroom with my mind still clouded with thoughts. Since I was too busy thinking, My body was on autopilot and I was unaware of my surroundings. Then suddenly everything went black.

No, I did not faint.

Someone just blocked my eyes with their hands. I can hear snickering from behind me. I tried to pry the hands away from my eyes and when I successfully did, I saw Rob sort of chuckling at me. 

"What the- Rob?" I say, chuckling.
"You looked like you were thinking too hard, so I had to stop you," he said.
I punched him on his shoulder. "Don't do that again, dude, especially when your hands smell like tuna fish," I laugh. "I have to go now, though. See you in Gym Class later," I say. He smiles at me before we go our separate ways.  I continued to go to the Girls' Bathroom which was fortunately, empty. I glanced at myself in the mirror and examined my face. My cheeks were very slightly tinted with red. And I know for a fact I haven't put on any blush because I absolutely hate unnecessary  make-up.  I also seem to be smiling. And I feel giggly. Weird.

"Hey Cat, I know you're in here. I know you're kind of upset about the whole Sally-Connor thing so how are you-..." Vash stopped mid-sentence. "For a supposedly depressed girl, you sure look too happy. What the hell happened five minutes ago are you going crazy that you're acting like the opposite of what you should be?"

And to be honest, I don't know how to answer her. All I know is that I couldn't stop thinking about how Rob was smiling at me.

"Vash, I don't know how to explain it, but I'll try.."

The End

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