Basically, I haven't finished so it's not that good at the moment but it's about a girl who is very vunerable and quiet and lacks confidence who then tries to find a way out but in the wrong way.
My mum always told me not to let people walk all over me and that "You're not a doormat, Bella." She told me to stand up for myself and tell people what I wanted and not to accept anything less. But I've never been like mum and I'm probably the most worn out doormat you'll ever see.
I'll always be happy to eat the burnt lasagne at school, to go to the back of the queue for the toilets and let people push infront of me and I'm always more than happy for you to copy my homework and permantly borrow my pencil. Well people assume that I'm happy to do this, or they just tell themselves that I am because they know for a fact that I won't say anything. In fact, I never say much at all in general, I just smile and say the occassional 'hello'. But to be honest, this all really gets on my nerves and everyday when I get home from school, I complain to mum about it.
"So why don't you do something about it then? You've got a mouth haven't you? You've got a mind of your own, tell them what you're telling me!" mum whines. I shrug and look at the floor, it's the same everyday, poor mum must get sick of it.
"But I can't say anything to them," I blurt, "They'll get nasty if I say no, you don't know what it's like," I whimper, I screw up my face and bite my lip. Mum must think I'm pathetic, I know that I do. Mum'll sigh and hold her head in her hands, tutting.
"Grow up, Bella. I was never like this when I was your age, you must get it from your father and he's a waste of space, do you want to end up like him?" She spits. I get shivers down my spine and feel my eyes welling up with tears but I force them back, mum would call me childish if I cried. I just walk out of the room and go to my room. I have tried to defend myself before but that failed miserably, try telling mum that though. It's not just people copying my homework and pushing in front of me, I have learnt to cope with that, it's the other things they say to me, just because they can.
Once I was in an ICT lesson, getting on with my work quietly, as usual when Abbie Daniels and Laura Overton come and sit by Jenny Golding who sits next to me. These three are sort of leaders in our year, they're 'it' girls you see, they have everything - looks, reasonable intelligence, parents who spoil them, popularity and most of all they have confidence, something of which I lack greatly. Abbie and Laura drag a chair up either side of Jenny and sit down, Laura whispers something to Jenny, Jenny sniggers and nods.
"There are some people in our year who have really nice hair, I mean really nice and I must say, there is a girl, who is quite near to us, who has amazing hair. It's really long and thin with loads of split ends, can you guess who it is Laura?" Jenny says. Laura glances at me quickly, I see her out of the corner of my eye but I don't react. Laura begins to continue.
"Erm well I think I can guess, her hair looks really shiny doesn't it? Like it's wet." says Laura, trying not to laugh. My cheeks are burning red and I think they've noticed.
"Yeah, it reminds me of something you could fry chips in, it's that greasy, but I know I wouldn't want to be eating chips from her hair, I don't know where its been!" Abbie adds as the three of them collapse into giggles. I bite my lip hard and look at the clock in the corner of my computer screen, it's almost twenty past twelve, nearly lunch. I log off and hook my bag over my shoulder, avoding their gaze all the while but I overheard Lauren say 'grease monkey' and I knew that as soon as I got out of the classroom I would be in the toilets crying, again.
"Right everyone, time to log off, enjoy your lunch and see you on Wednesday." Mr Pole bellowed above the chatter, he didn't have to tell us twice, we were out of the door before he could even take a breath - although I dropped behind Abbie, Laura and Jenny so I could avoid anymore 'sly' comments. I waited until the crowd had gone and then I ran to the girls' toilets and locked myself in a cubicle, I sat on the lid of the toilet and sobbed until my eyes almost dried out. I sat for about ten minutes, my teeth chattering, I felt so awful, so disgusting - I wanted to punish myself. I unlocked the cubicle and then splashed my face with cold water at the sink, then I went over to the art block in search of some scissors...