A/N READ THIS!!
This chapter does contain a rape scene. I do not enjoy writing them, however I did anyway. Because I'm strange and I just didn't stop writing to skip it when I got to it. So I will put a (warning) where the scene starts, and a (finish) where it ends, for those who might feel uncomfortable reading it. Trust me, I feel plenty uncomfortable re-writing it. But, like the first time, I am writing and just won't stop to skip it. Enjoy the chapter, and please leave your feed-back! I would love to know what you think of this story.
(If you didn't read the a/n then I suggest you do)
I had been watching the second hand on my watch when the dim lights went out. My eyes had widened instantly, and I'd sat up, the darkness complete. Movement beside me, I knew was Kevin. My watch had read nine o'clock when the lights turned off. Give or take a minute or two.
"Four hours, five minutes since he took me." I said into the darkness. I sat on my heels, my knees rubbing on the hard dirt that covered the ground. I was sitting quite close to the bars, wanting the comfort Kevins closeness gave. Something touched my arm, and, thinking it was a bug or something, I flinched, whimpered, and tried to move away. Fingers wrapped around my arm, holding me in place.
"You counted?" Kevins fingers let go of my arm, resting instead on my knee. I lay back, my arms creating a cushion for my head. I could feel my heart beat slowing down from the scare Kevin gave me. I shook my head, knowing he couldn't see me.
"No. Didn't count. I looked at my watch when he threw me in the van." He didn't reply. The place was quiet, save for low sobbing, and the occasional snore. My nose wrinkled, the smell of faeces was strong here, I didn't need to go, but I wondered how I would, when I did need to. I breathed deeply, ignoring the stench, and let the breath go through my mouth, "How long?" I asked him, knowing he'd understand the question.
There was the sound of air shifting through moving fabric, if I could've seen him, I would've seen the movement as a shrug, "Not sure, maybe a year? Two? What year is it now?" His answer surprised me, and my reply came instantly,
"Two years then. I was taken in twenty-ten, funnily enough, on the tenth of the tenth, twenty-ten." I ignored the date, and sucked in a breath, disbelieving,
"Two years? You've been here for two years? H-how, how have you survived that long?" He seemed to ignore my question, apparently changing the subject.
"I'm lucky I'm a guy. I feel sorry for you." I frowned, about to voice my opinion on that, when he continued, "I mean, knowing what you're going to have to go through. In this place, being a chick is one of the worst things." I shut my eyes, not wanting to hear anymore. My mind wandered to my family, my younger siblings, older brother, and my parents. I used to hate being the middle child, but now, maybe too late, I realised how lucky I had been. A brother to look up to, and siblings to look up to me. I sighed, stifling a yawn.
"Go to sleep then." He sounded just as tired as I was, even though I didn't think he'd done anything other then sit in his cage all day. All week. For two years. I shivered, thinking about how horrible that must have been.
A lock clicked. A creak as my cage door opened, and a torch blinding me as it flashed in my eyes. I couldn't see who it was behind the glare of the flashlight, but from the rough grip suddenly pulling me by my ankle, I knew it wasn't good. I was hauled to my feet, blind in the darkness as I shot a fleeting glance in what I thought to be Kevin's direction, before I was led away. My feet shuffled on the ground, and I stumbled a couple of times, before I was pushed into a room. The same one as before.
There was a bed in the middle of the room, with thread-bare linen, and a door on the wall, but other than that, the room was bare. The first time I'd been in here, the man had simply roughed me up a bit, shoving me side-to-side and just seeing if I would resist or not. I didn't. I had been too afraid he'd hurt me if I did.
He shoved me onto the bed and shut the door behind him. Fear shot through me as he advanced, I turned over so I was facing him, and tried to stand up, but he only pushed me back down. My breathing was ragged, my skin turning clammy as his fingers hooked in the belt loops on my jeans. I knew what he wanted, what he was going to do. I didn't like it. Yet I didn't resist.
He peeled my jeans down, and pushed his fingers up my top once my pants were dropped onto the tiled floor. That's when I started to resist. I didn't push him away, my hands were too busy trying to pull my shirt down as far as it would go for that, but I wriggled, and lifted my legs up. Resisting just enough to be difficult, but not enough to anger him, or really make an effect. His face leant in close to mine, his lips just brushing my ear as his breath made my eyes water, it reeked of garlic and cigarettes.
"You gonna tell me your name?" He had succeeded in removing my shirt, and was running his fingers up and down my ribs, my major ticklish spot.
"That tickles." I told him, squirming, and trying to push his hands away, my heart raced, and I tried pulling my legs up after he pushed them down, but he leant against them where they hung over the edge of the bed so I couldn't move them.
"I know." His voice turned cruel, and I gasped as his nails suddenly dug into my skin. The pain was intense, more-so than I'd expected it to be.
"S-stop." I pleaded, my attempts to push his hands away doubling now, fear flooded my senses, and I began to struggle harder, trying, yet failing to get away. To save myself. Whimpers left my throat and my body shook.
"I knew you were different the moment I saw you." I shut my eyes and clenched my teeth. His earlier words raced through my mind, pulsing, reminding me forever, most girls scream.
"That's why I'm treating you different." I could no longer move, he leant against my legs with almost bone-crushing force, and his nails dug deeper into my skin with every movement I made. I tried to scratch him, but my stubs of nails did nothing. I silently cursed my nail-biting habit.
"Please." I whimpered, tears wet my cheeks, and I tried to push his arm away one last time. The result being a deeper dig into my ribs, and the warm, red liquid that kept me alive running down my side. I made a deep animalistic sound in the back of my throat as his nails left the wounds on my sides, instead removing the last articles of clothing I wore. I was trying not to anger him, to not make it worse. But I couldn't stop the sob from leaving my throat, the choke on my own fear.
"You're bleeding." His voice was cold, flat as he informed me of what I already knew. His hands rested on my bare breasts, I now lay nude before him, my whole body on display for his eyes to take in, for his hands to roam, his body to react to. "You're a beautiful young lady, delicious curves, and perfect boobs." He growled, I looked away and shut my eyes, the tears wet my cheeks, my throat hurt. "I'm glad I'm the one in charge of you." He leant down, his nose touching mine, I struggled not to gag on the smell of his breath, or the taste of his lips as he put his mouth on mine.
The clothes I'd come in had been taken away. My watch and arm bands were gone. Instead, I was being forced to wear a thin, flimsy white dress that barely reached my knees. I wasn't even allowed underwear. The sides of the dress were stained red from where the mans nails had pierced my skin. The cuts still hurt, though the bleeding was minimal. I saw Kevin looking when the lights were turned on, and I ignored the stare. I didn't feel like talking. I didn't feel like doing anything, just curling into a ball, and staying like that.
"What did they do to you?" He didn't sound surprised. He didn't sound like this was unusual, for girls to be injured. I didn't answer, didn't look at him, only continued staring at the ground, and lifted my fingers to my mouth. Habitually chewing on my already stubs of nails. He seemed to take that as an acceptable reply.
"That bad huh?" He watched my face as I ignored him. My stomach growled, I hadn't eaten since lunch yesterday. My younger brothers face popped into my mind, imagining him laugh at the noises my stomach makes, asking me if it really was my tummy, or was I having a baby? Ever since my little sister was born, he'd been obsessed with babies in tummies. I missed them.
She just sat there. Sat and stared into space while chewing her nails to a pulp. I tried not to look at the blood on the dress they'd given her. It was the same dress every girl was given, the guys had to make do with living in the clothes they'd been taken in. Mine were crusty with dirt, stunk like nothing else, and were full of so many holes they more resembled rags than actual clothes. I looked away from Tay, the look on her face was too depressing, so I instead angled my gaze to where Mayra usually stood, and studied the empty spot. She wasn't there. The chain that usually caught her ankle lay rejected on the ground. I could only guess where she was. Whether she and her baby were okay or not. Who am I kidding? No one's okay.
"Most girls scream." I blinked, and turned my head to look at Tay, "Most girls scream." She looked at me, her eyes open, yet empty. Almost as though she weren't looking at me, but through me. "I didn't." I wanted to say something, to promise her it'd be alright, it'd be fine. But I couldn't. It'd be the biggest lie I'd ever told if I said that. So I said nothing.
"Most girls scream." She kept looking at me, it felt as though her eyes were boring into my skin, burrowing into my very soul. I nodded, not sure what else to do. "I didn't." I couldn't help it, I had to say something, anything,
"Why didn't you?" I could have slapped myself. She just kept staring at me though, but now it was like she wasn't there, the lights were on and there was nobody home.
"Why not?" She said, "Why didn't I?" Her head dropped, she looked down at her hands in her lap, and seemed to question herself. I frowned, "Because I'm different." The way she said it, the dejected, terrible way she said it, made me wonder if it was something Matt had told her. It certainly sounded like something he'd say. I didn't know if I should say anything, or even what I would say, so I stayed silent.
"Do you think I'm different?" She was looking at me again, I shivered, uncomfortable beneath her questioning gaze.
"I-I don't know." I shook my head, not wanting her to get worse. Tay seemed, almost like a cracked china doll. She'd been here one day. I wasn't sure how she'd survive the rest of her time here. If she'd survive. She looked away from me, her hand resting on her rib where the blood seemed thickest. She gripped the fabric of her dress in two fingers, and pulled it from where it had stuck to her skin, wincing as she did so.
I was trying not to look at her. I would look at her face, or not at her at all. I wasn't sure of the point of giving the girls those dresses. They wouldn't do anything to keep them warm, they were too thin for that, and they were mostly see-through anyway.
"I need a bath." She said, surprising me. I figured, maybe, she was one of those people who dwelled on something, then pushed it away. "Or a shower." I went along with the change in subject.
"Sadly, I'm not sure you'll get one. Unless you become a favourite." I rubbed my arm, using my chipped nails to scrape some of the dirt off. "I think I need ten."
"They feed us right?" I nodded, ignoring the fact that I wouldn't have lived this long if they didn't feed us.
"Yeah. They feed us, every Friday, and whenever else they decide they feel like it." I wanted to ask her about the outside. I wanted to know what was deemed important to kids my age. To know what had everyone excited, or what had everyone upset.
"So, what's the gossip nowadays?" She looked at me, a slight tilt to her head, and seemed to think.
"Not sure. I think I heard someone the other day going on about this song, the news kept talking about some new prime minister." She shrugged, "I'm the wrong person to ask. I spend so much time up here," She pointed to her head, "I miss what's out here." She waved her arms, gesturing to all round us. I nodded, not sure how she could get so lost in her own mind she'd miss what everyone else strove to know.
"What town are you from?" Distraction. That was how I hadn't gone crazy yet.
"What kind of town name is that?" I asked her, frowning as a small smile lit on her lips. She had a beautiful smile.
"A falling one." She giggled, her eyes shutting and a hand reaching up to cover her mouth. I forced out a chuckle that sounded dry and cracked. It had been years since I'd even thought about laughing. "Where are you from?" Her voice was lighter now than it was before, it made me want to smile, made me want to be able to.
"Me? I'm from Rivers View. According to . . . My, um, Dad, the town is named after the river that snaked around the mountains. We were in a kind of valley." She nodded, and seemed thoughtful a moment.
"I think I know that place, it's not far from Falls at all actually, I think Mum took me there one time on the bus. We went to buy Easter eggs 'cause they were cheaper there."
Tay still had blood on her dress and she still winced painfully every time she moved, or even just sifted her weight, but she was visibly happier. She sat up a little straighter than she did before, and she hadn't been hunching to fit in the cage. Matt came back for Tay not long after our talk. She was gone for the whole of at least three hours. When I saw her, when I saw them push her into her cage, I felt sick. There was blood running from her nose and dripping down her chin, and I could see on the outside of her right thigh, a huge gash in her leg. I had no doubt in my mind when I saw that, that it was going to scar. If it didn't become infected first. I felt selfish when the thought entered my head that I didn't want it to get infected, that I wanted Tay to live. If Tay died then she would be free of the Hell, and I would be alone. But she would be free. It was selfish of me to hope she would live. There were no tears on her face, but her eyes were stained red, and her cheeks sported a nasty purple, hand shaped bruise. She was breathing out of her mouth, and I watched her take each breath slowly as the medic girl took her time.
When the cage lock jingled it was only I that reacted. Tay just breathed out slowly and shut her eyes. It was only another girl, she wore the same attire as Tay, but she carried with her a dirty white box with a red cross on it. The medic girl. She was, in appearance, only a year or two older than Tay, though that may just have been because of the things she'd seen here. Anyone could appear older than they did after spending just one day here, let alone how ever many years this girl had been here. She'd been here when I'd arrived. The girl made Tay undress, and proceeded to clean every cut, and wipe away every spot of blood from Tay's skin.
"This is what happens when you make Matt mad. I'm sorry." I hadn't noticed the flinch that prompted the girl to talk, but I did notice every little bruise and every injury that Matt had inflicted on my friend. I could see the four crescent marks on her ribs that must have been what had been bleeding earlier. I tried to look away but my eyes were glued. Tay was beautiful. I had seen plenty of girls naked by that time, more so than not. But I could see why Matt chose Tay to take more than he did the other girls he felt to be in possession of. He had always been for quality, rather than quantity. The other men here always bragged about the amount of girls they picked up, and compared numbers. Matt compared the quality of his girls to theirs.
The girl picked up Tay's already filthy dress and took it away. Crawling out of the cage door with it as there was no room to stand. Tay didn't bother turning away, or hiding herself from me.
"You've seen it all. Haven't you?" The question was more of a statement. She knew fully now what went on here, I guess it was no secret I would have seen hundreds of girls in her position. The difference was I'd never been friends or anything close with those girls.
"Yeah. Yeah I have." She nodded slowly, her hands running up and down her arms, brushing over goose bumps.
Her face was scrunching up as the pain began to show, and a tear escaped her eye. Trailing slowly down her cheek, though she made no effort to brush it away. I could see it, just one day here, one day, was ruining her.
I was sore all over. The pain spread from each bump, each bruise and cut and gash, to join where I was unmarked and untouched. It hurt all over. That girl had left me with a white bandage wrapped around my thigh, and Band-Aids protected the smaller various cuts. The bruises had been left alone, though, I couldn't remember if anyone had ever done anything to treat a bruise. I had my injured leg resting on the ground, it hurt too much to move, and the other I curled up against, wrapping my arms around my knee as I rested my chin on it, letting the tears that now poured down my face drip from my chin and run down my leg. It tickled, but the feeling was a relief to focus on, rather than the unbearable pain I was feeling in the gash on my thigh. Kevin's continuous gaze on me was causing the hairs on my arm to raise, and shivers to run down my spine. It was unnerving, how he stared. I was sure he must have seen so many other girls devoid of their clothes a thousand times before. I struggled to understand how he had so much trouble looking away now. As it was, I did my best to ignore him.
"Try not to resist Matt." She was back again, with a clean dress just as useless as the one before. "That's how I got this." She handed me the dress and with the same arm she displayed a nasty thick scar, running from the inside of her elbow, to just below her wrist. I winced. There were scars on her face too, and her cheeks were hollowed. If I tried, I could imagine her in a better place, filled out and looking less like a skeleton. She would have been beautiful before she got here. I slid the dress over my abused body and shuddered,
"Thankyou." I told her, fiddling with the hem. "But I don't like guys touching me. Especially not him." The girl shut her eyes for a moment, before opening them again and looking at me with pity.
"Well, in that case I'm afraid you'll find me visiting you often." She left my cage one last time, crawling with as much dignity as you can have when on your hands and knees wearing a see-through dress.
I sighed, and began painfully manoeuvring myself so I faced Kevin. My leg hurt like nobodies business, and the tears still ran, joining at my chin and dripping to the dirt floor, but I was alive, and, as my motto went, 'It will be gone in twenty years'. I shut my eyes and let the words comfort me, repeating them over and over in my head.
"I want to ask if you're okay . . . But that'd be a stupid question." I opened my eyes and glared at Kevin, suddenly angry, at him, at this place, at the stupid unfairness of the world.
"It is kind of a stupid question, yeah!" I spat, my hand balling into a fist and my chin wobbling. "But thanks for your concern in any case." His only response was to blink, and look at me sadly. He opened his mouth to say something, but thought better of it and shut it again. I sighed, and rubbed my face. "I'm sorry. That was uncalled for." The first time is the worst. The thought kept running through my head. I almost said it out loud, but that would have made it more real.
"I hate it. I hate what they do to potentially brilliant people. It's barbaric." I looked across at him, he sat cross-legged, and his back was bent forward, I could see his eyes flickering, searching, for what, I didn't know.
"Has anybody ever . . . ?" I didn't need to finish my question. He knew what I was asking. There was that tiniest scrap of hope, just floating somewhere in the back of my mind, but that hope was smashed into a billion tiny pieces with Kevin's next words.
"If anyone has gotten out, the police never found out. We're still here after all."
I shut my eyes and wondered what the time was. Without my watch I felt lost, like I'd lost an arm or something. I'd found myself continuously checking the white strip of skin on my wrist for the time, only to be reminded I no longer had my watch. I figured it was maybe sometime in the afternoon. I remembered, if it were around three, I'd be normally watching the clock, just counting down the seconds before the school bell would ring and I could go home. I clicked my tongue as I wondered whether my friends had even noticed I wasn't at school. Or what Ma was doing, or what my siblings were doing. Or Dad.
"Thinking about home?"
"Thinking about school." Kevin nodded, before his eyes widened, and what I could only assume was supposed to be a grin appeared on his face.
"Hey, it's Friday, I almost forgot." I frowned and looked at him,
"What's so special about Friday?"
"Pieday." He stated it like it was the obvious answer. What in the Hell is Pieday?
"What in the Hell is Pieday?" He gave a choked chuckle, his lips not turning up at the edges, but I knew he was laughing at me. I crossed my arms grumpily, feeling like I was being left out.
"We get food on Fridays. I call it Pieday, 'cause that's what we called it in Primary School, when the canteen was half price." My stomach growled at the mention of food and I realised suddenly how hungry I was.
"Do you get food on any other days?"
"Well yeah, Tuesdays, but unless you're pregnant, have a child, or a favourite, you don't get fed any other day unless they feel like it." I didn't have to ask who 'they' were. I 'oh'd' at this and grimaced at the thought of raising a child here. I remembered Kevin's sister with her baby. I didn't want to ever go through that.
"Please God don't let me get pregnant."
"Oh you don't have to worry. You're Matts. So far he hasn't gotten any girl pregnant, so either he uses protection, or he can't have kids." I winced, I didn't want to belong to anyone. Especially not him.
There was silence between us for a while until a shrill ringing cut through the noise and stench of captive people. I looked to Kevin for an explanation, but all I got from him was a hungry look and a growling stomach. It was anybody's guess what was going through his mind. I shrunk away from the door of my cage as a young boy appeared. He was dark skinned, all bones, and held a haunted look in his eye. I took no notice of all this however, when my eyes found what he held in his hands. He unlocked my cage and pushed the bowl of mush in and I was at the food in a second, confused fro a moment when I saw no cutlery. It was made clear to me, however, when out of the corner of my eye I saw Kevin attacking his bowl like a starved beast, scooping the mush up with his finger like spoons and even picking the bowl up and eating the stuff out with his mouth. I followed his lead, though a little neater, and dug my fingers into the lumpy mash. I didn't know what it was I was eating, but through the tastelessness my hunger had me believing it to be the most delicious thing I'd ever tasted.
So I knelt at the front of my cage, side by side with Kevin, mirroring him as I ate my mush like an uncivilised savage. Adjusting, ever so slowly, to what had become of my life.
Wow . . . 4572 words . . . That's a lot.
Hope you guys like it, this took me forever to rewrite! That's ten pages handwritten in this chapter, though it has a helluva lot more description now. So, ya. I am very proud of myself for persisting.
(oh, and I'm afraid I haven't quite finished the next chapter, so it'll be a while before it's up. In the meantime, I will start posting chapters to another story, Mirian.)
I actually started writing this story in 2012, this is the re-written version that I started this year, so it might still be a bit bad, not as bad as the original, but still. I have not finished the first draft, so when i finally get the last chapter I've written up, feedback would be awesome, you know, so you can tell me what to do.