How To Get Kicked Out Of A Movie Theatre

and be allowed back into the theater at some later date:

you'll need: a large pair of sunglasses that also block peripheral vision, a well behaved, medium sized, recently and massively over fed dog borrowed from a nearby animal shelter, one guide dog harness equipped with handle, and a Titanic-length film to make sure that the dog definitely has an indoor movement.

 

and never be allowed into the theater ever again:

you'll need: a large pair of sunglasses that also block out peripheral vision, a well behaved, medium sized, recently and massively over fed dog borrowed from a nearby animal shelter, one guide dog harness equipped with handle, a Titanic-length film to make sure that the dog definitely has an indoor movement, and the ability to deftly avoid any security guards while still pretending to be blind and yelling to the dog "attack! attack!".

 

literally:

you'll need: an open exit door, 20 white hexagons and 12 black pentagons skillfully painted directly onto your skin, an action movie just finishing up on one of the screens, one overly excited meathead, a sign that reads I dare you, and an IQ under 100.

 

 

 

The End

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