How to Get Rid of Your In-Laws in Seven Minutes

In-laws. Let's face it, that word fills almost every bride or groom-to-be with dread the moment they hear it. From harpies for mothers to zombies for fathers we all know how horrific they can be.

So, here is a guide as to the best strategies to get rid of them. From the usual "drive them crazy" to the (slightly insane) method of the "unfortunate accident" they are all listed here.

Choose your poison...

  • Buy a rottweiler and put it outside your front door.
  • Eat lots of garlic, marmite, and other smelly foods before greeting them. The smell will send them running for the hills.
  • Use your children (if you have any) to pester them to death until they leave.
  • Act like you have schizophrenia and freak them out.
  • Keep saying strange things at random intervals. It isn't what you say that matters, it's how different it is to the conversation topic at the time.
  • Keep dropping subtle hints that you're really busy and need to get on with something.
  • Use whoopie-cushions and other practical joke tools to infuriate them so much they storm off.
  • Start a heated debate. This always makes them stalk off in a huff.
  • Lead them out into the garden, then barricade the door and hide the key.

Or of course, you could always chase them out of the house with a chainsaw...

You decide.

The End

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