How To Tell When Someone Is Planning A Surprise Party

There are many immediate tell tale signs to spot when a person you are living with is planning a surprise party for you. Sometimes you just notice oddities but don't always make the connection until later . Other times it's so  obvious its embarrassing.

Pretend you have no clue what's going on, and hope they don't notice that you're pretending not to know that they're pretending that nothing's going on.

Body language

  1. You can tell in their eyes. The once lovely normality in them holds a hint of frantic insane panic.
  2. They smile alot. Though mostly its a grimace.
  3. They nod a lot too. Even when you tell them there's a spider landing on their heads.This is when you know there is something behind their backs you aren't suppose to see.
  4. Generally, they talk less. It's almost as if they're scared to open their mouths in case there's a cat in there they might let out.
  5. There's a nervous energy around them. Picture a ticking time bomb.


  1. When you see them they're wearing flat, comfortable shoes. Notice that these shoes don't squeek or clomp.
  2. When you don't see them but can feel their presence it's because they're in  ninja gear.
  3. They wear sunglasses inside the house. It's their incognito frame of mind gone extreme.

At home

  1. The guest bathroom and bedroom are locked. When you ask about it they just shrug and say: " it?"
  2. When you persist they tell you the key has gone in for repairs.
  3. When you say you're having a friend staying over the weekend they say: "How nice, hope you two enjoy sleeping together."
  4. When the telephone rings they turn into Flash Gordon, who usually speaks in nonosyllables.
  5. You get sent out on errands regularly.
  6. You notice cardboard boxes in places like the garage shelves, behind the sofa, and so on, trying hard to look inconspicuous. Sometimes you'll innocently lift a cover sheet only to find yet another cardboard box.
    If by chance you get caught doing this, don't panic, because two grown people panicking over the appearance of an unassuming cardboard box is construed as insanity. Instead calmly replace the cover sheet and say:"Hm, looks like it's going to rain."

The moral of the story is: Never be stupid enough to throw a surprise party in the same house that the guest of honour is living in.

The End

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