Another day, another group of mindless monkeys to herd through the displays.
No madam, that was not directed at you or your lovely child. Yes madam, I realize little Joey is a precious and delicate flower and I would never speak ill of him. Oh, her. Sorry.
Let us begin the tour, shall we? Yes, here we go, over this way please!
Madam? Could we try to keep jolly Joey off the displays? I can fully appreciate his... her excitement to be here, but that skeleton is not a toy, nor is it cheap. And I suspect the cheeky cherub has yet to earn a paycheck, if you follow my meaning.
Now then, please direct your wandering eyes to the display to my left and I shall divulge the secrets behind the termination of the creatures known as Chattery Chachas.
A relatively recent extinction, these infuriating critters were known for two things: their ability to talk for years at a time... yes madam, I said years. No, it was not an exaggeration. May I continue? Thank you.
As I was saying, the Chatter Chachas were quite capable, and quite enjoyed, talking non-stop for great lengths of time. I believe the record was 925 days before an unfortunate incident with a large rock ended that little episode.
They also filled any breaks in yakking with a rather terrible dance that I will not torture you by replicating. Rest assured, it would break your sanity almost instantaneously.
It goes without saying, but I shall say it anyway, that these beasts were hated by all who were unlucky enough to encounter them. Sadly, it took a while for me to deal with them as, to be completely honest, I couldn't stand being around them long enough to figure out a way to be rid of them.
But after more complaints than I care to remember I was forced into action. So, rather than alter them directly, I transformed a neighboring beast instead.
The Brawnarious, most similar to the present day grizzly bear, simply needed a tweak in their hearing and suddenly... the voices of the Chattery Chachas sounded quite exactly like their mating call. One thing led to another and... well, I shall just say that the much larger Brawnarious tended to crush the Chachas in their attempt to copulate.
Madam, can we get Joey off the drinking fountain? You are aware, are you not, that I am not retired?
No madam, that was not a threat. I was simply making idle conversation as we move on to the next display.
Everyone follow me please, thank you.