I did not know where I was running to, nor did I even care. Already I knew people would be talking about taking my son away from me, it was better Elendil had a clean break from me now. Like I abandoned him, it would be easier for him if it was that way. Willow trees greeted me but they could not understand because they were not like me, not as twisted towards the hideous crimes of being human.
The willow trees gave way to a beautiful scene. A small river trickled down some black rocks with blue flowers sprouting up in the crevices. Solitude, that was what I needed. Flinging myself down on one of the half submerged rocks, I crept into the hidden pain that was my soul.
Soon my body turned numb, the constant rhythm of the water rushing over the rocks drowned all else out until I could pretend I was no longer an elf that did not fit into his homeland, but the very water itself.
Footsteps splashed over to me, treading lightly like they did not want me to know they were there. I kept my eyes shut, maybe they would think I was dead.
"Alec healed my arm," Jibril sat beside me, "It just aches now."
"Jibril," I groaned, "Stay away from me." I said it but I did not mean it, I wanted forgiveness. Still he did not move.
"Won't you look at me brother?" He whispered.
"How can I? I hurt you. I broke you. I could easily have killed you, so easily" I wept.
"But you had the thought to stop."
"You did not see your eyes."
"No harm done." I felt him shrug.
I flew upright, grasping his elbow and pulling him up with me. Instantly he cowered. I held up his bandaged wrist.
"No harm done? Look at yourself. You're scared of me," I dropped his arm, "I'm scared of me." Sighing, I turned to walk back to the river bank.
"I am not scared of you, Elvin."