This is me, im not fake, im not made up, its my feelings, true storries..my secrets
If you ask i wont tell, If you try to help oh well.
I am a girl that has no friends but would appear to be that i do, but i dont...why you ask that this even matters..or why should you be reading this...i dont know...well this is a story on how "i got what i deserved."
Last year in school i had three girl best friends that i could ever want...their names i wont say but ill give you the letters...j...k...l
Over the summer one moved away, and the other two..moved away too but only from me.
So i started out kinda alone..but thats nothing new..
Yes your thinking..blahblahblahblahhh...move on..well i am..
This year in school i broke down and lost myself more than ive ever done before...i cried three days straight once..and the others well i was sent out to the hall..the bathroom..or in the closet..to well ball my eyes out..i lost my mask and people saw my pain..did they do anything thing to help..how could they right..they werent even my friends..oh wait..what friends..one day k..and j were walking together in the halls..and they saw that i was well sad..and j..which was more of a friend..that i cared so deeply about..loved her..the one friend i prayed for on my knees in my stupid little cornor for...i got..and boy did i ever thank God for her..well..you see...we fell out over the summer..and it didnt get any better..id move..but each time was always a no..or not now..or not today..im busy..it just..well it just didnt help..anyways..out of the hurt and not being close to her i wouldnt just say my problem..and well it hurt her..so she fought to know..but i fought to protect the situation so i was rude and she went away..now you see people..i wasnt rude for no reason..first of all it was in the hall...i didnt want anyone to hear that..second of all K was standing with her..why would i tell her that in front of her...we didnt even talk..anyways each day i would go to school..and id get the looks of hate and just grossed out...well..people..i cried..and prayed..and cried..but looks like if i wanted her to grow with me again..so i could still have one thing to hold on to...then i was gonna have to man up and write a letter to her...and well people i did..i poured everything out there for her...i told her why i was hurt..why i did that..and gave her nothing but the song of my heart..in words...and well people....I got what i deserved.
Well only that my person that i just loved and wanted as a friend dearly..told me that she doesnt give a rats butt about it..and that well..i got what i deserved..
You know..those words still break my heart...
I cant tell you how bad my head hurts from crying about this...
After that..i felt like i really didnt want to move on..but you know what i did..and gosh did it hurt..
One day..she saw how sad and how messed up and how bloodshot a pale i was..and she decided to say something...well..not to me..to another person..on a note..that i read..for me..
On that note she actually asked why i looked like well..crap
My eyes where watering like crazy..and then i read will you just tell her i love her..
I broke down more than ever before..i was so happy that she told me she loved me...
I walked up to her and put myself in her arms..cried on her shoulder..and all i could say was thank you.
When i leaned up she looked at me with this you are the yuckest persons in the world..get off of me, and said..um ok..
and well..she never looked back...
Till this day people im still waiting for her...dont ask me why..because i dont know...well maybe i do...because like i said..i cant give up hope on her..I really did love her..