Living life as me can be complicated. End of story. (beat) That’s just a fact, and something you’re going to have to get used to if you’re to be me. Life as Angela is no easy task mind you. I had to grow up way to fast in my opinion. (beat) I had to become an adult way before I hit 18. I was paying bills, rent, buying food ever since I was 14 or 15. I was the permanent babysitter for my younger siblings. I had to help them with homework, bathe, feed, and watch them. (beat) I was momma, daddy, sister, and friend when my momma wasn’t. I was given a lot of responsibility. I’ve always been a trooper and took it in stride. How could I not. I was doing all of this while still getting A’s and B’s. I didn’t really have that much of a social life, and still don’t. (beat) Hey Angela, can you spend the night this weekend? No, sorry I have to babysit. That is what my life consisted of. Pretty soon my friends just stopped asking. They were tired of me not being able to hang out. (beat) You know, life as me can be complicated. Did I say that before? Well it’s the truth and I think it deserved to be said again and maybe again if I feel like repeating myself. Don’t get me wrong for the snappy attitude, I have no bone to pick with you, you’re just an outlet I guess. But make no mistake I will not apologize for it either, just know my anger is not directed, nor is it meant for you. (beat) In order to become me, to let me take a break from the chaos, responsibilities, and the worry, you have to really understand me. You have to emerge yourself in all things Angela. Period, point, blank. (beat) If you’re not up for the task, the soul searching, the transformation let me know. Even though I am in dire need of a change of scenery, a break from being me, I will stay me if you can’t handle it. Can you handle it? Can you handle the pain, the tears, the worry, the anger, the unperfect complicated family, the responsibilities? Can you stand the heat? Do you have the heart, soul, strength, dedication, and perseverance to be me? (beat) Do you think you can last a day in my world? Can you deal with my complicated family? Deal with the fact that at important events you’re mom and dad won’t be there. Deal with the fact that you’re older sister the one you can always turn to is now 8 or so hours away. Can you deal with the fact that you have lost your brother, your dogs, and your nephew, niece or nephew, and that you may just loose this nephew on the way. Can you deal with it? I have lots of pain in my life. Not many people I can confide in. (beat) That is what makes being me complicated but you will see for yourself. Go. Go enjoy being me for as long as you can handle it. Or until I miss my life. You are ready. You understand me.
- Beat means a short pause