…reassure the officers that you were merely going to give the hookers money to perform sexual acts on your friend?

You are temporarily blinded by the glare of the officers’ flashlights.  When your focus returns, you find yourself gaping slack-jawed at the two policemen in front of you.  Their short sleeved uniforms straining across their bronzed, bulging biceps put the ‘Hot Cops’ to shame.  They seemed pleased that the rain, effectively plastering their shirts on, only enhances the image now seared into your retinas.

Just as you are about to stammer a lame, transparent excuse as to why you were seen approaching the ‘ladies’ while waving cold hard cash in your hot little hand, Ida Slapter comes across the street and exclaims in a deep baritone, "Hey! If it isn’t Rear Admiral Sanchez! Long time no see!"

Caught off-guard, the on-duty officer whips around and responds, "That’s Constable Sanchez when I’m at work."  You glance at the name embroidered onto his lapel: D. Sanchez.  Huh.  Go figure.  Recognizing Ida, the officer adds, "I didn’t see you coming behind me."

"You usually don’t, hon," is the quick reply.  You are relieved Gina rode straight home and didn’t have to witness this bizarre, sexually-charged exchange.

The other officer pipes up, "Ida, is this perp your pimp?"

"No." s/he responds.

"Well, we witnessed you waving your wallet at Ida and Mabel, here," Constable B.G. Wang (Seriously?) addresses you.

Ida tells the officers you had lost your wallet and they had been helping you search for it.  When you found it, you waved it in the air to let them know.

"Uh, yeah…" you falter.  "That’s all that happened."  You know you don’t sound very convincing so you are astounded when the cops buy the story, make plans to meet up with Ida and Mabel later, then drive away. 

You cannot believe your good luck and are astounded at the scene that just took place.  The whole episode seems as unlikely as Morgan Freeman appearing in an Old Navy commercial. You want to thank the gals for their assistance so you confirm the stag party booking for tomorrow evening and….

The End

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