My Hypnotist Husband and me.

We met, Mervin and I, on a night out with my boss and his wife. "The Miraculoius Mervin," he was called and he had bulging and penetrating blue eyes. I was drinking my pint of larger and found my hand was stuck fast to the glass, which led to me and three others, taking our places on the stage.

I can't remember a thing about it, although, I'm told I did the usual things, he made me believe I was a bird hatching from it's egg for example, and then an under water explorer, and fianally, he made me do an impression of Shirley Bassey. This was how I came to lose my job, as I did a rendition of "I'd Like To Hate Myself In The Morning," climbing down from the stage and running my body up and down my bosses', whilst seductively stroking his thighs. This was too much for his wife, naturally, and so, my job at the iron foundry was history.

Of course, this caused a commotion, and that's how Mervin came to my help. He told me that with his hypnosis, he could give me the confidence to walk into any job I desired, not only that, he couldmake me stop smoking and lose weight, my three New Year's resolutions!

Natually, I fell head over heels in love with Mervin, and I did get that job at the tyre factory! I lost weight and I don't smoke, course, no one likes me anymore, no one wants to hang around with the perfect person, and that's just one of my problems.

That was 18 years ago, when we met. Now I've got three teenage children and his mother living with us. This situation has been compounded by Mervin's phase into regression.

He took us all back into past incarnations. Our Stephen for example, he remembered a previous life on the islands of St Kilder, and how he and other men would scale the cliffs hanging on ropes in an effort to pull an unfortunate seagull from it's nest for their very survival! I really don't think that Stephen got over that experience, and to this very day, can be seen shinning his way up lampposts, and scaling the walls of our semi detached home. I sometime wonder if that's normal.

His Mother's no better for it either, since recallling her life in ancient Sumeria, all we ever hear is, "Oh, that would never have happened in ancient Sumeria,", No, course it wouldn't you silly woman I'd muse, no one stayed on the computer all day in ancient Sumeria because they'd only just come up with bloody writing! She justifies everything by how things were done in Sumeria. I've learnt to control my anger through hypnosis, I imagine her as silent and meditate on a blade of grass.

This is how I came to long for a new life now. I didn't want to wait until I was dead like everyone else, I wanted to completely change my life today, to leave that mad family of mine behind and start afresh, but how?

The End

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