"I Wonder as I Wander"

Travis thanked his caretakers and said goodbye to Colin before heading out that evening. He was finally headed home- with his heart torn. He didn’t know what to believe now- he had never cared much about people, which was convenient for his obsession about the fights. Yet, now everything he believed was being challenged.

‘Maybe I’m wrong,’ Travis thought, ‘Maybe people are worth more than I think. We are supposed to all be equal. We are supposed to do and be anything we want, right? It’s a free country. Yet, we owe something. For some reason, we are obligated to think of others before ourselves. I thought we were nice to people so that we could gain their cooperation or something. But that sergeant was more than nice to someone he didn’t even know, and he didn’t gain anything at all- in fact, he lost his life. Maybe life isn’t as meaningless as it seems. Am I living life rightfully? Aren’t I allowed to live how I want to live? Or am I?’

As Travis walked he noticed a beehive- each worker bee toiling for the ‘greater good’ of the hive. Was that it? Was he supposed to work for the ‘greater good’ of humanity? But that sergeant wasn’t working towards the ‘greater good’ of humanity- if he was he would have left Colin’s grandfather to die; the sergeant was the more valuable mercenary.

What was it- some sort of phenomenon? Travis couldn’t figure it out. It didn’t make sense that one person should consider another person of greater worth than themselves. Everyone says to ‘mind your own business’, and no one likes to be bothered by strangers; yet, some would choose, never having met that person, to give their life in place of another person’s life. It didn’t make common sense- it doesn’t make common sense.

Love, Charity, Mercy, Compassion- Travis could not understand these traits in humanity. If the highest authority is supposed to be man than why doesn’t society act as though each life is worth what it can contribute to humanity as a whole?

‘What would life be like if I didn’t bet on the fights- if I didn’t obsess over them and encourage them? What would happen if I stood against all the fighting and bullying? Who would I be if I spoke out against betting on the fights?’  Travis wondered.

Travis feared being mocked at school if he stood up against the fights. He also was afraid of being beat up for it- something that certainly had never happened to him before.  But wouldn’t he deserve it? Or would he? Travis couldn’t decide whether he was guilty, just passive, or totally innocent. What exactly had he done?

Then again, who’s to say that, even if he did do something, fighting and bullying were such a bad things? Travis’ mind went back to his ancient world history class where he learned about the Romans and their love of watching gladiators duke it out to the death in the arena.

Travis also thought of his neighbor’s down the street, who used to deal in dog fighting. The people who laid their bets on these dog fights used to joke that it was more fun than buying lottery tickets or playing poker.

‘Everyone likes to see a good fight- what’s the harm in that?’ Travis thought, but he was soon reminded of the harm Tony caused his little brother. No feeling was worse for Travis than seeing his little brother helpless and in pain. ‘I don’t think this right,’ Travis concluded, ‘but how can I be sure?’

 

The End

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