There is no feel of release yet, even though I know the numbing day of school is over. The building is a grey fenced-in prison, a place where my mind seems like a caged bird, battering its wings futilely against the bars until they might break.
I won't let myself anticipate, though, because I know that whatever I wait for will never come. Experience - too many wishes on stars that must have been satellites.
I let myself in to the oppressive silent house, closing the dark wooden front door and shutting out the outside world. I don't check to see if anybody else is home - why would I? Why would it matter anyway? - but I go straight upstairs to my room. I shrug off my backpack, the little pinbadges rattling like the raindrops on my window, and lock my door.
Now, in this box room, with a closed door, I can let myself be free.
I lie on the bed on my back and close my eyes. Waiting. Then I let my fantasy world take me.