Only a few weeks later and the pain only seemed to grow more and more, even the birth of my new son Cole didn't ease it. Then I found myself at his funeral standing up by his casket with a black veil and dress holding Cole. People would come up and they would cry, give flowers, and tell me how sorry they were but I didn't respond, or cry I just stood there, a body without any emotions, hollow and lifeless. Taylor's father and mother weeped as people came up and hugged them and cried with them.
Finally my brother Sean and his wife and kids came in. His daughter Lacey looked absolutely beautiful in her small dress, while her one year old Brother Jason slept on his mother Veronica's s arms. Sean was Taylor's best friend in life and he shed a few tears and left a white rose on Taylor's casket, while Veronica and Lacey gazed with teary eyes at my husband.
"I'm really sorry about uncle Taylor aunt Rachel." Lacey said her blue eyes somewhat puffy from crying.
"Thanks sweetheart." I said my voice having only the slightest trace of emotion in it that emotion being sadness.
Veronica came up and gave me a hug and I could feel one of her tears fall on my shoulder while I gently hugged her back. Sean though merely gave me a hug and didn't cry and I could tell he was angry with me for being the reason Taylor had died, but he hugged Taylor's parents tight and cried a bit to them. Then the pastor came up and preached then asked if anyone would like to say anything about him a few people mostly military buddies of Taylor spoke about all of their good times. I merely sat there and stared at the floor until they began to move the casket at which point I got in the car that would take us to the cemetery.
When we got there the pastor said a few words and I touched the casket one more time as a tear trickled down my face slowly. Then there were gun shots to show he had been in the army and every last one of those bullets reminded me of how Taylor had died. Once they had lowered Taylor into the ground I stared down and felt myself sob as I was finally torn away from the only person who I had known to be able to comfort me.