"Alright, follow me," he said gesturing me towards the stairs. I quickly slipped off my shoes, and followed Aiden up the steps. God, my feet are killing me. "Could you walk any faster? I just spent the whole night it heels."
"Alright, alright, you're rooms right here," he said gesturing to a room off to the left.
Our eyes locked for a moment, before I outstretched my hand, and turned one of the handles on the double doors, and pushed it open.
I honestly didn’t know what to expect. I don’t know if I was expecting and expensive looking suite, or a cool, modern room with lots of colors. I had opened the door, but I was still standing outside of the room, with my eyes closed.
“Well, what are you waiting for?” asked Aiden’s obviously annoyed voice.
“Would you calm down? This is the first time I’m seeing my new room. And I’m not really sure what to expect,” I answered.
Taking a deep breath, I opened my eyes, and took the first step into the room. The first thing I saw was a black wood four poster bed, with white and rich purple strips of fabrics hanging off of it. The bed was covered in a million pillows, and the comforter was a dark, rich purple with light purple, black, and white polka dots. (AN: I’m doing my best at describing this.)
Off to the left of the room was a door that was on the same wall that the bed was facing, and adjacent to that wall was a huge balcony with the same colored curtains. I began walking towards the balcony, and swung open the doors. I wind flew in and swept my hair back over my shoulders. This was a beautiful summer night. It was incredibly dark outside, so I couldn’t really see which direction my room was facing, but that faint sound of trickling water was in the air again. It was calming, and the balcony had a few lawn chairs. It was a perfect place for tanning, or just relaxing.
Turning around, I saw Aiden look kind of bored, but I could care less, I was still looking at everything. A huge dresser was next to the door that led out to the hallway, and on the other side of the door was an armchair, and a loveseat. On the total other end of the room was another door.
I turned to the closest door to me, which just happened to be the one that was near the bed. Walking towards it, I turned the handle, and looked around for a switch. I finally found it on the left on the door frame.
My eyes were greeted by clothes. Clothes upon clothes upon clothes. This was one freaking huge closet! There were shoes, and bags, and belts, and anything and everything a girl could ask for. And they actually looked kinda cute. Thank god it wasn’t all pink. I don’t know what I’d do if it was pink.
My suitcases were neatly place off the side. Were my stuff still in there? Did they unpack it for me? I walked over to it, bent down, and opened the zipper 6 inched on no particular one. It was empty. That means my stuff is mixed in with this crazy expensive stuff? Perfect, just perfect.
In the corner there was a red dress hung up like it was being prepared for something. It was a gorgeous dress, I had to admit, but it really wasn’t something I would wear. Actually a lot of this stuff is stuff I probably wouldn’t wear. But I saw few of my things intermixed with them, so I’ll just totally ignore all the other crap, and wear my stuff.
I turned around and saw Aiden leaning of the door frame, staring at me. He sure knows how to make any situation awkward. I stared back at him, until he slightly turned his torso, pointing over his shoulder and stated, “There’s a bathroom over there if you want to see it now.”
“Uhh, sure,” I said nervously. Why the hell did he always make me nervous? Why can’t I just have one normal conversation with him, without making a total fool of myself. Stepping through the door frame, around Aiden’s body which was still leaning on it, I made my way to the only other door in this room.
The second I stepped into it, I stopped and my jaw dropped. This was the nicest bathroom I’ve ever been in. It was huge, It had double sinks, silver fixtures, and everything was black marble or gray tile. There was a huge ass Jacuzzi, and a shower that could fit like 3 people, and there were three other doors; one straight ahead, and the other two in opposite corners.
I walked over and opened one and sheets, and pillowcases, and all sorts of linens greeted my eyes. So, I’m assuming the other one is the toilet. Then what’s the one that’s across from my door? I just stood there, my head tilted, staring while I thought.
All of a sudden, I felt someone’s breath on my neck that sent shivers down my spine. Aiden’s hands rested gently on my hips, while he whispered in my ear seductively, “What are you thinking?”
Ignoring his tone of voice I answered in the most solid voice I could muster. “Just wondering what’s through that door,” I stated simply while pointing.
I was doing a good job of keeping my cool, and ignoring him, yay! That was, until his arms snaked completely around my waist, and his lips met my neck. I gasped at his sudden touch, and I guess he took it the wrong way, because he started kissing and nibbling at my neck until he got to my ear and whispered, “That my dear, is my room. I can show it to you if you want.” I could feel a smirk forming on his face due to the fact that his lips were practically touching my ear. Why did I always have to freeze up when a guy touches me? Why?
Oh, great, and I did want to see his room, I just didn’t want to end up on his bed. Ok, calm down, I just have to word this carefully, and get his arms off of my waist. “Actually,” I said, disentangling his arms from me. “I would like to see your room, but your bed can wait,” I said flirtatiously, leaning in so our faces were inches apart and running my hand up and down his chest.
Hehe, I love playing with guy’s minds. I told you, I was gonna show Aiden that I may be his fiancé, but I sure as hell am not gonna be his lover or even worse, his fuck buddy. I promised myself that I would give my virginity away only to the man that I love, and I know that I’m gonna spend the rest of my life with. And that too, only after marriage.
And because of the boy in front of me, I was gonna give my virginity away only after I was labeled a divorcee. I could never love Aiden, could I?
Aiden just smirked at me and said in the same tone, “Well, it’s your choice. The bed is pretty comfortable, but I do have a sofa in my room, and a chair. I personally prefer a bed, but chairs work too, and they’re kinky.” He just winked at me. Oh my god, he just winked at me! He could not be serious!?
Ok, I need a cover up. Ok, I still have my flirty face on. Damn, I’m good at hiding my feelings. Ok, ummm, let’s see, I could start laughing. Yeah that could work.
I started laughing, taking a few steps back. “Did you seriously for one second think that I was gonna have sex with you?” I asked exasperated from my somewhat fake laughing.
His face got serious for half a second, and then went back to his former smirk. “You know,” he said taking a few steps towards me. Gulp. What was he doing? Why was he getting closer? Ok, I admit, I love flirting with guys just to mess with their heads, but I’ve never gone farther than that. I mean, seriously, I’ve never even had a boyfriend before!
He just kept advancing on me, and I kept walking backwards towards the bathroom counter. “You really shouldn’t lead a guy on like that,” he said mischievously. “He might get the wrong idea.”
By now my back was against the counter, and Aiden was mere inches away from me. “A-a-a-nd what I-I-idea w-w-would th-a-at be?” I asked as he closed the space between our bodies, placing his hands on the counter on both sides of me. I was trapped. And I stuttered. Shit, he knew I was nervous. Why did I show that weakness to him? Why the fuck does he even have this effect on my? When I was with any other guy who tried to hit on me, I was able to turn them down, make a comment about their pick-up line, and walk away. No stuttering.
Aiden did something to me, and I didn’t like it. There was a feeling in my stomach, one that was telling me that something was gonna happen. And I already knew I was gonna have mixed feeling about it.
“Hmmm, I don’t know,” he started, leaning in towards my neck. He placed his lips gently on my collarbone, and began to move up, kissing and nibbling on the way. I bit my lip in an attempt to not gasp at the sudden warmth of his lips on my skin.
“Maybe that you like them, and that you’re, oh, I don’t know, leading them on.”
I gasped at the end of that sentence which turned into a moan, the damn bastard found my weak spot. I bit my lip even harder, trying not to moan even more. It was only encouragement to him.
Well, that statement was true though. I liked to lead some guys on, only if they were cocky bastards like that one that was working his way up to my face, and was incredibly close to me lips.
Before I knew it, his lips were on mine, soft, yet again, but with sugar coated hunger. I was too shocked to even respond. When I did, I made the stupid mistake of kissing him back. His lips were so soft though, and addicting.
The second I responded, and gave into the kiss, Aiden had somehow lifted me so I was sitting on the counter with my feet dangling over the edge. His hands lingered on my hips, but then trailed up my sides, slightly cupping my breast.
At that I reacted, and tried to push him away. Who the hell did he think he was that he could touch me there. All he did was grab my arms, and hold them to his chest, while his other hand cupped my cheek, never breaking the kiss, which had gotten rougher by the second.
What the fuck was I doing? I just met this guy, and I was making out with him for the second time in one night. I pushed him away harder this time, but he just went to nibbling my neck again. With my lips free I said, “Aiden, stop.”
“Aiden, I’m serious, stop!” I whisper yelled.
He actually did this time, and came to face me. “What?” he asked annoyed.
“Let me go,” I said in a serious tone.
“Now where’s the fun in that?”
“There’s isn’t any. Exactly.” Before he could say anything, I just reacted. I kicked him in the balls, and watched as he went down to the floor. Hopping off the counter, I tried to suppress the laughter that was building in me.
“Oh, this is funny to you?” asked a frustrated Aiden from the floor.
“Actually yes, it is quite funny.”
“Could you at least help me up, considering you did this to me?”
“Fine, just listen to me the next time I tell you to stop.”
“Fine,” he said outstretching his arm for me to take.
I grabbed it, and pulled. Well, him being the jackass that he is, he pulled me down with him. And guess where I landed? On Aiden’s chest. Yup, my day couldn’t get any better than this, please note the sarcasm. “And you say I’m a cocky bastard. It’s not my fault the girls fall for me. In your case literally.”
“Shut up,” I said getting on my knees to get up. Big mistake. If he wasn’t wearing jeans, it would have looked like we were doing something I swore I would never do until I was married.
“Now Adelaide, you’re giving me mixed signals here. Do you, or don’t you want to have sex with me?”
“Shut up Aiden, I was just trying to get up, and it’s Addy.”
Sighing, “I said, call me Addy. Adelaide is too long and formal.” I was sitting cross-legged on the floor next him, who was still laying down on his back.
“Oh, alright, I thought you liked Adelaide.”
“Yeah, well, I don’t care, I just prefer Addy. All my friends call me that. And since you’re sadly my fiancé, it would only sound more appropriate.”
“Did you just say sadly my fiancé?” he asked with mock hurt.
“And if I did?” I retorted.
Our eyes met, while his mouth hung open, obviously wanting to say something, but he shut it, and continued staring at me.
His eyes were mesmerizing. I could probably stare at them forever- and wait, what am I saying. Snap out of it Addy. He’s just trying to get in your pants, and I’ll never give him that satisfaction. Ok, that sounded wrong, let me rephrase that, I’ll never sleep with him for the heck of it, and I won’t let him seduce me into it.
I finally looked away, becoming very interested with the tiles on the floor I was sitting on. Feeling the blood flow quickly to my face, I looked down even further, letting my hair fall in front of my face.
I heard some shuffling next to me, and realized that Aiden had stood up when he stuck his hand in my face. “What?” I asked looking up at him. Damn, he was tall.
“I was just helping you up. Would you like the help, because I can gladly leave you here and continue my way into my own room?”
“Oh, thanks,” I said softly, reaching for his hand. But he pulled away at the last minute.
“Wait, you’re not going to pull me down are you?” he asked.
“No, I’m not evil unlike someone I know, and happen to have to marry,” I said innocently, knowing that would probably tick him off.
“You make it sound like it’s a bad thing,” he stated grabbing my hand. Was I right, or was I right. He’s funny to tick off, I thought, trying to hide my giggle, and I did successfully because he looked at me expectantly.
“Isn’t it?” I asked. He pulled me up to my feet in one swift movement, but he didn’t let go of my hand.
“You won’t regret it,” he said.
“Oh, and why is that?”
Pulling me closer, and me being the weakling that I am, ended up practically pressed to his chest all over again, he whispered in my ear, “Two words love, wedding night. I’ll have you begging for more.”
“Ugh, your disgusting, you know that!” I exclaimed suddenly repulsed, pushing him away successfully, and freeing my hand from him. “I would never stay with a man I don’t love just for the sex. Matter of fact, if I don’t love him, I wouldn’t even have sex with the guy. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m exhausted. Good night.” I said before stalking off into my room, and slamming the bathroom door behind me.
God, who the hell does he think he is. Assuming I’m going to sleep with him on our wedding night just because we’re married. He’s such a cocky bastard. I can’t believe I’m stuck in this.
I can’t believe my dad did this to me. Calm down Addy, I told myself as I walked into the closet to find some pajama’s. He’s just trying to get on your nerves. Yeah, that’s it.
After looking around for a bit, I finally found some pj’s that were actually really cute. It was black and white cotton shorts, with one of my own black skeleanimals tank top.
After carefully turning down the bed, I slid into it, and laid there for what felt like eternity. After some time, I decided to sit on the balcony.
Stumbling over in the dark, I found a switch that was for a light that lit up the whole balcony. From what I could see, it had a beautiful stone ledge, and small holes that were part of the design on the floor that I’m guessing let the water fall to the ground when it rains. The ground was stone, and it was just something that I knew I was going to love having.
Plopping down on one of the lawn chairs, I just sat there, and thought. I thought about this place, how I was gonna try to get along with Aiden. I thought about my mom, and my friends. I thought about what my future could have been, at Juliard, learning the art of dance from the best dancers in the country. And last, and maybe least, I thought of my dad, and how he did this to me.
Soon, the tears started to fall. I couldn’t hide them, and it would be a futile attempt if I tried to stop them. I hated my life so fucking much. My own god damn father hated me. What he hell did I ever even do to him? I know, I was fucking born. Well if he didn’t want me, then he should have learned to use a condom.
He probably gave me away like this because he wanted to get rid of me. All the things he did to me when I was 14 were flooding back into my mind. All the hate that I had built up for him. All the anger that I harbor because of him.
It was finally hitting me, while I curled up into a ball on the chair. I was stuck here, away from my friends, away from my mom. I would have to spend my entire life with Aiden. My life was fucked, like it always is. The tears came harder, and I knew they wouldn’t stop anytime soon.
I knew what I needed. Standing, I speed walked to the bathroom. It’s been months since I’d done this. Walking in, I wiped more tears with the heel of my palm. Aiden’s voice was heard through his door, but I just shrugged it off. I’ll be quite, I always was.
Shuffling through the drawers, and medicine cabinets like mad, I finally found it. The razor was shining bright due to the massive amounts of light in the bathroom.
Sinking to the floor and leaning against the cabinets below the sink, I pulled my legs towards my stomach. Pressing the razor to the skin on the outer side of my upper thighs, I traced a story into my skin with red ink. And I watched it smear all of my legs, and onto the tile.
I had one image in my head the entire time. My dad yelling at me saying, “You fucking bitch! You’re a waste of my fucking time and money!” With all the hate, anger, sadness, and hurt I harbored, I pressed harder into my skin. Gasping in pain, and feeling that amazing adrenaline rush, the feeling of just being whole again, even if it was just for a few minutes.
I was still sobbing, and little louder than I had intended actually. Once my skin became numb, I threw the razor across the room, with a grunt, sighing, I started sobbing again, oblivious to how much noise I was making, or how much blood I had lost.
I was used to sitting in my own blood, but I felt something else in me today. I felt, loss, anger, and a whole within me that no amount of pain could make up for.
I hated it, and I just wanted to scream, but I held it in, aware that I wasn’t alone. Then I heard it, a voice, closer than I would ever want it.
“Oh my god, Addy!” came Aiden’s voice, piercing through the air. “I gotta call you back,” he said quickly into his phone. Then I heard a beep, and footsteps. I didn’t even hear his bedroom door open.
Leaning my head back onto the cabinet, I groaned. Great, the last thing I wanted was for him to find out. Feeling a presence beside me, I head Aiden whisper, “What did you do Addy?” Was that concern I heard in his voice? No, it can’t be, can it?
I was vaguely aware of arms wrapping themselves around me, and lifting me off of the cold stone floor. My eyelids felt heavy, and soon started to droop shut.
And then the darkness engulfed me like every other time. The last thing I remember was feeling the softness of bed sheets against my back.