2. Social order and restaurant etiquette

It's similar to an out of body experience. I'm doing a narrative, stopping from time to time for conversations I'm having with other people. My memories of this one are rather fragmented and unusual, so bear with me here.

There's a coffee shop and I see myself walk past a couple of metal tables and keep going. The narrative me is saying something about social order. It says something like: "I wouldn't consider myself as unpopular - I have my fair share and more of friends. Yet, I wouldn't say I'm popular. I think popular requires a certain level of people expecting you to do stupid things like go out drinking all night and ending up lying in the gutter in another part of the country with dirty, torn clothes and a shoe and sock missing, but not from the same foot."

I then saw myself go into the next place along which was something like a cross between a fast food restaurant and a proper restaurant.

There were lots of people milling around and the inside looked like it could be a school canteen or something similar. There were trays everywhere, the line was immensely long and as far as I could tell, I was hungry. Despite that, there were no seats, no room to stand and nowhere to go.

Then there was something to do with etiquette in a restaurant. There was stuff about not passing things over other people's tables and some other basic rules of etiquette.

I was standing around aimlessly when a seat became available. There was a Jamaican guy and we had a politeness argument. You know the ones? They go like this:

"You can have the last sweet."

"Oh no, you can have it."


"You can go through the door first."

"Oh, it's fine, you should go through the door first."

Or, in this case:

"You can have the chair."

"It's okay, you're a lady, you should sit down."

But they generally say the same  thing repeatedly. Anyway, I got into a battle of politeness with this Jamaican guy and I eventually ended up taking the table. Being the polite person I am, I asked him if he wanted to sit with me. He agreed, then asked me whether I wanted chicken nuggets or scotch eggs.

I asked for scotch eggs and the dream ended there.

Make of it what you will...

The End

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