Old Lady

The Challenge: Write anything you want in ten minutes.

"Hello Ms. Adeline," I say kindly as I step onto the porch.

She doesn't look at me. Figures. This old lady probably can't hear a word I'm saying. I smile and sit down in the armchair opposite of her.

"Hello," she says.

I stare at her and raise an eyebrow. This old lady probably has no idea how to sell a house, but I'm not giving up now.

"I think you should sell your house," I begin.

She cuts me off rudely. "Son, I will not sell my house to you, the government, or especially that slut girlfriend of yours!"

I was shocked, but not offended. I'll be honest, my girlfriend is a serious slut. I laugh. "You haven't even taken it into consideration," I say with a wink.

She takes off her glasses and looks at me. "You are a pain in the butt, you know that?"

I nod. "I'm paid to be," I say with a shrug.

She shakes her head. "I would imagine your mother wants you dead by now."

I raise an eyebrow. "Ms. Adeline, I hate to break it to you, but you are my mom."

She's silent. "Let me rephrase that. 'I want you dead, now get out.'"

Touchy. I stand up and brush off my clothes. "You never did have common sense."

I turn to leave, but a hand grabs me. "Don't come back, I won't sell my house till the day I die."

I look at her. "Fine."


The next day I return to her house. I open her window and crawl inside. I slowly and cautiously walk into her room. I raise my bat and prepare to hit her sleeping body. "Goodbye, mum," I say with a smile. I hit the bed repeatedly, bashing it violently.

Suddenly I hear a voice say, "Goodbye."

I spin around. There's my mom, standing there holding a double barrel shotgun. "Oh crap," I whisper.

She pulls the trigger.

Bullets blast through my body and send me crashing into the floor.

"You always were a pain in the butt," is the last thing I hear.

The End

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