A Learning Experience, part 1

We learned a lot of things over the next couple of weeks. We learned that publicly embarrassing a large automotive company not only stops them hassling you legally, but also gets you a nice apology hamper. We learned that speaking with the media seems to have the opposite effect than you'd expect. After the interview hit the papers, everything seemed to quieten down a bit, I guess everyone had learned everything they needed to know from the article, or had learned enough that their outrage or amazement had been curbed sufficiently so that they would leave us alone.

Most of all though, we learned that living with a small car is just as much work, if not more, than living with a human baby.

After the injection of cash from the newspapers, neither of us had to work for a while and with our unique circumstances, we decided to both stay home with the baby so we could spend as much time together as a family as possible.

It turns out living cars learn to drive far sooner than humans learn to walk and only a few days after the interview we'd been kept awake for several nights by the sound of the baby not only beeping, but now tearing around it's cot, revving repeatedly and generally making an awful racket. It's sheets and blankets were shredded where it'd repeatedly ground it's tyres against them and on more than one occasion it had sped up too much and bumped into the walls of the cot, hurting itself and thus crying it's beeping cries.

During those days I idly wondered if they could make car clamps in his size.

Eventually, after much dicussion over whether it was cruel or not, we came up with a solution. We laid Jeremy on a brick, so that his wheels couldn't reach any surfaces and send him rocketting away. Now, before you gasp at the apparent abuse of this, be aware that Jeremy didn't seem to be particularly bothered by the brick. He cried just as often, but this time at least he didn't hurt himself and he didn't tear up everything around him. We could still hear him crying and would deal with whatever was bothering him as best we could.

Oh, you may have noticed. We named him. One day we were watching the TV, trying to get the baby to sleep when Top Gear came on. He stopped crying and drifted off almost straightaway. Somehow the name just seemed appropriate.

The End

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