My Baby Beetle

What if your child was born... different? This is a story about the trials and tribulations of a family dealing with the fact that their first child was born a miniature VW Beetle.

My other half loves VW Beetles, she's a total fan. The house is covered with VW Beetle paraphernalia, VW Beetle models and yes, her car is a VW Beetle. So I guess I shouldn't have been so shocked when she gave birth to our first child and changed our lives forever.

I was holding her hand and her face was screwed up in a combination of agony and expectation. I smiled as best I could to comfort her as she squeezed and pushed at the doctors orders while I wiped her brow. The Doctor cried "I think I can see the head, one last push now" and screaming all the while she pushed and pushed and we were met with silence and the shocked face of the doctor.

I panicked then, what was wrong, what had happened to the baby!?

"Why isn't it crying, why isn't it crying!?"

"T-t-theres a problem with your baby. I-I've n-n-never seen anything l-like t-this before. My God, how did...."

"Let me see!" I yelled pushing my way to the end of the bed while my wife burst in to tears.


What I saw was a miniture green VW Beetle, the size of a baby, covered in muck and blood. It seemed to quiver on it's tiny little tires and then it began beeping with it's tiny horn. It was crying.

"God man, get me a towel before it catches it's death, can't you see it's cold?" I said, pushing past the stunned nurses and doctor and grabbing a towel. carefully, I cradled the tiny car in my arms and wrapped the towel around it.

"What wrong with our baby Harold? What happening?! WHATS HAPPENING!?"

"It's okay dear, everything's fine, look, here it is."

And with that I lowered the bundle of green metal and soft white towel  into her arms. She looked confused for a second, but then the  bond between mother and child kicked in and in that moment she knew it was hers. The Beetle seemed to know too as it's horn became silent.

After a moment Sarah looked up, her eyes wide and full of tears. "Isn't he beautiful Harold?"

So it's a he? How do you tell these things, its a fricking car!

"Yes dear, it..he is. I, I just need to go outside for a moment and talk to the doctor, I'll be back soon. I promise." I squeezed her hand. "I love you, no matter what."

With that I walked outside the ward the shocked nurses and doctors in tow.

The End

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