I've watched his descension (ascension?) into madanes for years, watched the black clump of hate, lust and greed take over him.
He wants to kill people, that's what he told me. When we were alone in the chapel, he told me so, right to my face,
"How easy would it be to kill?" he asked, glancing up at the stained glass window, the light set an eerie glow across his steadily growing smile,
"Well..." I would answer, cocking my eyebrow and becoming quite hesitant to provide an answer to the boy, as my influence to him was one so great I often feel I was controlling him un-willingly,
"Well what woman?!" he barked giving me a stern, impatient look, hindsight he was probably wondering if he could kill me...
"Yes! It'd be very easy, too easy in fact... but that's not the poin..."
"Then let's do it!..." he interrupted, determination twinkling behind his red contact lenses,
"But John..." I pleaded, clearly threatened by his new decision.
"Don't worry beautiful," he reassured me with a comforting smile, he grabbed me by the waist and placed his warm lips to mine and he watched me melt as the pleasure took over,
"Do you really think this is a bad idea?" he asked, expecting me to say no of course, and at the time I wasn't one to disapoint such a brilliant kisser.
They only caught him, no matter how much he pleaded with them, screaming that I was an accomplice they ignored him. I wasn't sure whether to hate him or adore him for trying to betray me, was it a selfish act? To get revenge on my influential self? or was it that he needed me? Needed me by his side and this was a gesture of love?
It doesn't matter anyway, I'm always with him, he just doesn't realize yet but he will, I can reveal myself when it suits me, for now I'll watch his rage collect, watch his dark thoughts and planned sins gather, and when the time comes I'll set them alight, fueling him for one last beautiful massacre.