You know how everyone talks about Murphy’s Law like “Man! Everything that could go wrong has gone wrong this morning” and then someone chimes in with “Well my good friend that is Murphy’s Law for you” or something ridiculous like that. I’ve always hated that expression because Murphy’s Law was called Reilly’s Law at first, and as we all know, Reilly’s Law states that ‘in any scientific or engineering endeavor, anything that can go wrong will go wrong’.
Murphy’s Law #56
Common Sense isn’t.
But that’s beside the point.
This is one of those days that everything that could have gone wrong, did.
My name is Tyche and incase you are wondering, I am sitting on a children’s swing in a park with one shoe, which by the way has a broken heel, no jacket, a purse that is dripping…something, my hair all askew (but trust me, it did look good at the beginning of the night), a goose egg forming on the back of my head complete with a raging headache and maybe a slight concussion, and on my fantastic white tank top there is a rather large triangular shaped red stain.
But the good news is my best friend is in as rough shape as I am. She has bad hair like mine, along with a missing earring, ripped pants, a grass stain that is the length of her back on the back of her shirt, and leaves stuck to her in odd places. Not to mention she reeks of beer. So now here we are, in a random park on the swings and we are about to pee our pants because we’re laughing so hard.
Now I know what you are thinking…What the hell kind of name is Tyche? Well besides it being a kick ass and unique name in which you probably haven’t heard before (unless you're a Greek Mythology buff), I was named after a Greek Goddess. Like Ellen Page in that Movie Juno, except Juno was actually a Roman Goddess who’s Greek Equivalent was Hera…Zeus’ wifey. So technically they writers of the movie got a little mixed up, I mean come on…they had to know that someone had to pay attention to a detail THAT huge, didn’t they?
ANYWAYS…As I was saying before my thought train got set into motion, Tyche was the name of the Greek Goddess of Fortune and Luck, and apparently she was one of the most popular of the Goddesses because many Greek cities chose her as their protector. Though, this night, well this whole day, my name wouldn’t play into any of the events that had happened. In fact, I would say that the Goddess that I am left me for the night to fend for myself, big mistake.
Murphy’s Law #12
Left to themselves, things go from bad to worse.
Now I know what else you are thinking…How did this girl get into such a predicament? Well, I’m actually really glad you voiced that question. You see my day started off normal enough; I woke up in my average bed to the sun shining into my room. I’m a light sleeper when it comes to light of any sort; I need it to be pitch black in my room to get any shut eye. Hah, look at me I’m rambling…what else is new? Onward ho! So as I get ready for my day I head to the kitchen which is oddly empty. I find a note from my parents telling me that they have left for a business trip for the weekend. Now you’re probably thinking that I…a typical teenager left alone in the house for a weekend would be happy about this. I’m not.
I am actually probably the most useless person known to man when I am left on my own, but dammit that doesn’t mean I don’t try!
Anyways, continuing on, this is where Murphy makes an appearance.
Murphy’s Law of Selective Gravitation # 9
If a dish is dropped while removing it from the cupboard, it will hit the sink, breaking the dish and chipping or denting the sink in the process.
Which is exactly what happened when I went to get a coffee mug from above the sink, and as Tyche (the Goddess not me), would have it, it was my favourite mug. Petey the Panda mug was no more and there was a big ominous dent in the sink that was staring at me. It mocked me. It was like it somehow knew that this day was not going to be lucky OR good for Tyche (me, not the Goddess).
Who puts dishes ABOVE the sink anyways?