I found myself in Claire's car the next night. I looked over to Claire, and she was showing a look of madness as she sped along the highway at twenty above the speed limit. I was scared for my health, so I thought it would be best to try to calm her down.
"So where exactly are we going?" I asked to no avail. Either my question was too quiet, or she had ignored me. And while I wasn't a fan of either answer, I was certainly hoping it was choice number one. I then decided to repeat my question. "Where are we going?"
"Did I not tell you?" The look faded from her face as she spoke. I felt relieved that I had been right, as I absolutely hated being ignored, but at the same time her question irritated me. She hadn't explained anything at her locker that afternoon, apart from that she required my assistance, and that I wasn't allowed to leave the car. The way she explained it only made me feel that my contribution was probably insignificant, and I truly hoped that her next sentence would clear a few things up. "Don't worry Jason, you'll know everything needed by the time I get out of the car. In the mean time, do you see the bag below your feet?"
"The little black one?"
"Yes that, pick it up onto your lap." I obeyed quickly, as the bag wasn't that heavy. "Inside the bag is a banana, a bowling ball, and five sheets of bubble wrap. The bowling ball you won't need until later, and I need you to eat the banana."
"What's the bubble wrap for?" She began to slow the car and turn onto a dirt parking lot. I didn't recognize the area, but I assumed that we were right outside of a small factory. She then looked me in the eyes and smiled.
"Well, you need something to do while you're in here, don't you?" She took off her seat belt, popped open the trunk from the dashboard, and turned off the car. Then she got out and went to the trunk of the car, where she retrieved a large duffel bag. She came back up to the door. "I'll be back in a second" she said, before she shut it. And with that, she ran towards the building, leaving me alone in her car with nothing but her scent and five sheets of bubble wrap.
Her scent was one of the few things I hadn't thought about when I had first hung out with her, but in all fairness, it really should have been. I couldn't be sure what she was wearing, but it reminded me of strawberries. Except instead of ordinary strawberries, these smelt as though the had been prepared like so:
- The berries (I call them berries even though I know they aren't, because of the seeds, but it's just easier to describe) were first picked from the strongest and healthiest strawberries bushes in only the happiest areas of the world.
- The were then cut, mashed together, and cooked in a pot of boiling water, so that the scent was made stronger.
- After the water has been drained out, the now soft and somewhat juicier strawberries were placed into a large bowl full of bowling vanilla ice cream soup (which is actually quite satisfying).*
- After the mixture cooled enough to touch, it was brought into a shower and poured all over Claire's naked body, but it does not hurt, and is not uncomfortable, because this ice cream is magic and can only be used in a positive way.
I easily could've thought about this for the rest of the time I was sitting there, but I quickly realized that, in the unlikely event that someone could read my mind, I would be thought of as a pervert. To take my mind off of that, I looked back in the bag at the bubble wrap. I wondered how juvenile this girl thought I was, giving me such a degrading object to waste my time on. That being said, I was extremely bored, and could only get lost in my imagination for so long, so I figured I had nothing to lose. I shrugged, and reached my right hand into the back to grab the sheets.
Immediately I found myself jerking my hand out of the bag. I shouted in pain for a moment before I inspected my hand, and notice that there was a large cut across the palm that I was sure hadn't been there before. Now I wasn't exactly a genius, but I was pretty sure that most bubble wrap doesn't cut skin like butter. Intrigued, I reached back in with both hands, carefully this time, and removed the bubble wrap to see what had been under it. My eyes widened as I peered into the bottom of the backpack.
I was, without a doubt, looking at a foot long machete.
"Why was there a machete at the bottom of a teenage girls backpack?" was the first question I asked myself, which was immediately followed by "What have I gotten myself into?" I began to hyperventilate, and in an attempt to calm myself, I started popping bubbles. This easily would've worked, except for the fact the bubble wrap now had a giant cut through its sides, and at least three sheets were covered in my blood. It was at that moment that I realized that bubble wrap was completely worthless when dealing with anything sharp, and was a bit confused as to how it was any use with anything at all, save for being a stress reliever. And frankly, it wasn't helping my stress at all.
"Start the car!" I heard coming from the building. I focused just long enough to make out Claire running towards the car, now holding a key ring. I noticed the key was still in ignition and tried to start the car. Failed. I tried again. Still no good. I looked back up and saw that at least 4 large men were chasing after Claire.
"Come on and start you piece of shit!" Somehow that works, and the car started just before Claire made it to the door and jumped in, wasting no time as she pushed me into the passenger seat, and pulled out of the driveway. I assumed that we had finished, but instead of turning back onto the road, she continue through a path that lead behind the factory. "What exactly are we doing now?"
"We've only just started, it's time for phase two."
"How can I do phase two if I don't even know what phase one is yet!?" She didn't answer me, she just continued driving. I looked to my right to see the men running back into the factory. I shuttered to think of what they were planning. "What exactly did you do in there?"
"You'll find out when we get around the back." And sure enough, when we had gotten to the back of the building, she stopped the car. The entire south wall seemed to have been replaced by a giant gate, and behind that it looked kind of like a garage. She told me to grab the bowling ball and then we both ran to the gate. She pointed to a small hole in the middle, and then what looked like the open switch on the wall. She looked at me. "I need you to climb this wall and throw the bowling ball against the switch to make it open." My jaw dropped.
"Are you crazy? Even if I manage to hit the damn thing it would just break the switch!"
"Trust me!" And so, for no greater reason than a pretty girl told me to trust her, I began climbing the gate. The good news was that the hole was only about nine feet high, so even with the bowling ball it wasn't terribly difficult to make it up. The bad news was that I was only able to get one arm and the ball through it.
"Claire, there is no way that I'm going to be able to do this!" I called down, a little to loud considering how close I was. I looked down and she was now indicating a couch that was next to the switch. The couch I knew I could hit, I just didn't know how it would help. I lobbed the ball as hard as I could towards the couch, and watched it bounce up and knock the switch to open the gate. There are no words to describe how baffled I was. Incidentally, I didn't have much to to think about that, because the gate was now moving with me still on it. So, like a real man, I panicked and fell to the ground. As I got up, Claire was giggling as she had to brush me off. I'm glad she's having a good time.
"So," I began. "What exactly did we just do?" She stopped looking at me and started looking behind me. She started to whisper.
"Four.... three.... two..... one!" The very moment the word "one" left her lips, another door opened. And at that moment, I saw thirty, maybe even forty dogs racing out the door, through the open gate, and onto the giant field that was behind us. Before I had a chance to question it, I heard a bellow.
"You bitch! We'll fucking kill you tonight!" I tried to turn around to look where it was coming from, but I felt a hand on my cheek, and Claire stared at me dead into the iris's of my eyes and whispered one more word.
*-I don't know much about cooking, and have no idea if this is a good idea.