She was a walking casting call, a fashion runway doll. Her 4.0 came so naturally, she was great at everything, and had a following entourage of copy queens. There was no need to try out for the school play, because you know she was going to get the lead anyway. 1

She was the girl that everyone loved to hate, she made every guys' heart stop and do a double take. Everyone knew she had it made and worked hard to be Miss Popularity. 2

She wore the cutest clothes, had the latest phone, with all the right accessories. Her skin like porcelain, her hair perfect. She was gorgeous and she knew it, she was a size zero and she just loved to show it. She was every teacher's pet, her daddy loaded and her mommy drove a pink Corvette. 3

She was perfectly perfect.4

"So, what happened to her?" 5

I looked up and into his crystal clear blue eyes, I moved back an invisible lock of hair on his face before answering his much awaited question. 6

"She died." I gulped. 7

It was always hurt just thinking about it and now here I was drunk-ish and all wrapped up on some guy's lap, telling him the whole story. Well, technically he wasn't some guy, I knew him. He lived near me and went to the same school as me. His name was.... Alex, I think. He was pretty cute and one of the popular, but sweet guys at our school.8

"I'm sorry," he pressed his head to mine. "Was she a good friend of yours or something?"9

I didn't know how to answer that question really or how to explain to him carefully without spilling out too much information. 10

"I guess you could say that." I finally said. 11

"What do you mean?"12

Agh, I was afraid he was going to do that; press me for more and I knew I was just going to spill it all out in the end. 13

I can't say, I wanted to tell him, but my voice wasn't working anymore. Part of my heart trusted him with my life and my brain knew from experience that not everyone can keep secrets, and it was best if you didn't just blurt out things you knew and swore never to reveal to anyone or to your neighbor - even if he was one of the hottest guys you knew. 14

I stayed silent for so long, but Alex didn't force anything else out of me. He just sat there smoothing down my hair and gently rocked me back and forth. Occasionally he would kiss my head or cheek, or chin, or some part of my face, but he never did rush me. 15

Finally, after thinking it over for what felt like a million times in my head, I looked up at him just when he was about to kiss my forehead again and stared into his eyes. 16

"Do you like me?" I asked him. 17

Alex just stared back at my eyes and I felt like he could look inside my soul and figure out all that I was hiding in just seconds. 18

"What do you think?" he said. 19

I just shrugged my shoulders, because I wasn't really sure he did. He was sweet and nice like very few guys in this world, but that doesn't necessarily mean that he has a thing for me. He was nice to everybody, even the teachers, while the other jocks disrespected most of them. 20

I looked down at his large arms wrapped around me and tried to remember how I even got together with him like this. I remembered I was passing by Alex's house and he was having a party. Him being his sweet little self invited me in, I being my loner self, refused him. But, he wouldn't take no for an answer and practically dragged me into his house. 21

I immediately had a bad feeling about this, I knew from experience that bad things happened to quiet girls who usually kept to themselves at parties - they either got raped by some older jock or got teased and almost get themselves into a b**** fight with a f***in' s**ty cheerleader. 22

All I know is, it wasn't going to be pretty. But, before any of that even happened, Alex scooped me away and here we are now on his front porch, while his house is getting destroyed by wild teens who all cared about nothing but themselves. But, how did I get so drunk again? Oh, that's right, I wanted to drown everyone and tune out all their insults, so I drunk bottle after bottle of who knows what and stumbled out into the living room where I was almost about to start with a blondie. I don't exactly remember how the topic of Miss Popularity came up, but it must've somehow, because it didn't just pop out of nowhere. 23

Anyway, I don't really remember what blonde head had said to me, but what I did know that it wasn't a good thing and I wasn't just gonna walk away after that. She had slapped me across the face and I had her pinned down on the ground with my elbow down on her stomach. Everyone around us was laughing and having a good time, while booing at me for winning, but it didn't last because of Alex. 24

At first I thought he was going to kick me out, but instead he kicked her out, which was the most surprising thing that happened this night. I stood on the porch, confused. What was going on here? I asked myself. Why was he sticking up for me instead of yelling at me for attempting to destroy his house? I thought guys like blondies and always stuck up for them, not for emo loners like me. Who was this guy and why was he so nice to me when everyone else wasn't?25

"Hey, are you ok?" he asked me, reaching his hand out for me. 26

I flinched back and shook my head no, without thinking. I meant to leave then, but something stopped me. I didn't know what it was, but it seemed to be pulling me more and more towards him. I was close to him, so I could smell beer from him - he was almost as drunk as I was. Who knows where this would lead us? 27

I've watched the movies, read the books, and heard the rumors, they were all the same. One drunk guy, and one equally drunk chick, hit it off at some party and never look at each other again. 28

But, I've been through this before and I wasn't going to let this happen to me again. I stepped back a little, but Alex grabbed my hand.29

"Don't go. Please." he whispered into the air. 30

I listened to him, while different voices in my head screamed at me for what I was doing. What was I was doing anyway? my heart asked me. Why am I still here with him? Why haven't I left from there and returned back to my secret domain - my room? 31

Well, after that, one thing led to another and we may have not slept together, but we were together. And now I as I sat here and remembered all these events, I'm beginning to stop regretting it and actually starting to enjoy my time with Alex here. 32
I was so lost in thought as I tried to figure out how I exactly felt about him, that I didn't even feel it at first when Alex had pressed his lips against mine and was kissing me ever so softly and sweetly, with a hint of roughness. Before I could react to it, he pulled away and stared at me with a sorry look on his face. 33

"You don't mind, do you?" he asked me, making sure. 34

I shook my head no and smiled, pressing my lips back up against his. We kissed for a little while -- our alcoholic smelling tongues rolling around together -- and I could feel a few tears rolling down my eyes. Alex must've felt them while he was stroking my face and pulled away to see what was wrong. 35

"What's the matter? Did I do something wrong?"36

He was so sweet, so perfect. His words, his voice, everything about him was beautiful and he made me happy to be me. Seeing the concern for me in his eyes and hearing it in his voice, brought more tears to my eyes and made my heart soften and melt the icicles that hung in them away - I don't know if it was for forever, but I knew that I should enjoy it while it lasted. 37

"You wanted to know what else happened to her and why she did it, right?" I sobbed out.38

"Yeah, but you don't have to tell me if you don't want to." he assured me. 39

"No, I want to; I have to, if I want to survive." 40

After that I just started blabbering everything else out, everything that happened to her the past years and what led her to end it all. 41

To Be Continued.42

*A/N: There is a part two to this, it was just getting to long & I don't want to bore you all to death, so it shall be continued in the next ch.*

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