Misconceptions of the Night

"Back, back fiend of the night," Barnaby said as firmly as his waining strength would allow, the wooden cross from the wall held resolutely before him.

The dark figure scoffed from the shadow but halted his progress all the same, "What, cause you think all vampires are Christian?"

Barnaby paused, his mind cranking through this peculiar statement.  It was late.  He'd been running half the night.  The horrors he had seen still gnawed at his sense of reality.  His grip on the cross loosened, and his arm lowered.

But no, he reaffirmed his grip and pushed the cross forward, "Liar!  Friend to the Devil!  You're only trying to trick me into giving up my one means of salvation."

His foe sighed and stepped forward into the meager light of the gas street light, "Oh please, you think I need to resort to trickery now?"  With a wicked grin he extended a bony index finger and gave the cross a slow, telling poke.  No smoke erupted from the fingertip, and no sizzling sound filled the stillness of the foggy night.

Hesitantly, Barnaby asked, "You're not Jewish, are you?"

With a roll of his dark eyes, the villain replied, "Like that somehow makes your fate worse?"

Feeling a little guilty, Barnaby corrected, "Not really, I suppose, only surprising is all.  I mean, I didn't know we had many Jews in Cardiff."

"Just because you don't socialize with them doesn't mean they aren't there," the monster chided with a wagging of his long finger.

"Don't suppose a star of David would have done me much good?" Barnaby asked with a shrug.

"Not quite the same significance, so no," said his adversary taking a step forward.

Barnaby took a step back, "Is sucking human blood even kosher?"

"Haven't read anywhere that it isn't," he cooed slyly taking another step forward.

"Suppose I were covered in cheese?" Barnaby tried, taking another step backward.

"But you're not."  Again, a step forward.

"Any chance we could haggle?"  Again, a desperate step backward.

The vampire stopped, "Look, now you're just being anti-Semitic."

Barnaby halted as well, hands going indignantly to his hips, "Well pardon me, but I'm about to have my throat ripped out by a Jewish vampire, so I think I deserve the latitude to be as anti-Semitic as I darn well please!"

The End

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