Mind, Meet Matter

There was a quirky man who lived in an average little house on the side of town opposite from the side of town that people liked to call the side of town farthest away from the former. Nobody knew for sure how old the man was, or what he did for a living. He was certainly a bit odd, but he had never done anything too crazy, and many people enjoyed the fireworks display he put on during 4th of July weekend. The man had a broad forehead and short, brown hair. He had a scraggly bit of facial hair that never seemed to be shaved and never seemed to grow out, like a permanent five o' clock shadow. He typically wore loose fitting clothes that seemed to be rather old and dull.

            It was his actions that struck people as a bit odd. See, the man had a tendency to laugh at the most peculiar moments, which nobody could understand, or grab his dog leash to walk the dog that he had never purchased, or play catch with a friend he didn't have. Doctors said he didn't have any mental illness, and the man had never harmed anyone, and, at times, like at restaurants and other public places, could seem quite average.

            It was the week before July 4th when people started to realize the man taking more risks. He had a tendency to jump off his roof, often landing in pain. He said he was trying to fly. He ran across busy streets, and, at one point, tried juggling chainsaws, mostly unsuccessfully, and mostly ending with some painful physical contact. It was after one such occurrence when it appeared to most observers that the man had lost his mind. It was a rather quick and painless loss, but a loss indeed, and, from that point on, public ostracization began in full.

            With the onset of this occurrence, the man's condition appeared to continually degrade. The laughter that the man so often elicited was now gone, as he found it hard to find humor in the world when he was constantly reminded that he was without his mind. Indeed, the man even stopped his habitual habit of walking his dog. Juggling chainsaws was no longer occurring, as the man had a hard time seeing past the fact that he had apparently lost his mind, although he himself was unable to see it.
            And so the man continued living like this, unable to satisfactorily live his life as he once had. His condition worsened over the days and weeks that followed. July 4th passed and their were no fireworks, as he found himself unable to light them, running around like a chicken with it's head cut off, trying to get a flame going. Not that he could have enjoyed the fireworks, what with his mind lost.

            After the abysmal failure that was the failed attempts at fireworks, the man mostly secluded himself indoors. Some say that he began to lose weight severely, and that he had difficulty eating. He stopped answering his phone, and his property began to become decrepit, as his lawn was never mowed.

            Time went by and after nobody had seen the man for several days, police were called, just to make sure that he was in a stable condition. Police arrived promptly and helped themselves into the man's house. Belongings were strewn about, as if they had all been knocked down from where they were previously sitting. Food was strewn about the kitchen, empty cereal boxes and the like, and the floor had the smell of spoiled milk, and was damp.

            After searching through the house the police found the man on his bed, his mind still apparently lost, and his body not showing any signs of life. They checked for a pulse and for breathing but found none, and came to the conclusion that if somebody had lost their mind, it stands to reason that they could quite easily lose their pulse and other bodily functions as well, although neither officer was quick to test this theory, nor were they doctors themselves.

            The autopsy would eventually reveal the cause of death; the man had died from a lack of oxygen in his body. One police officer, one of the two who originally found the man dead, asked the doctor who performed the autopsy exactly how the man died, in order to fill out a police report.

            “How'd he die?”

            “He forgot to breathe.”

            “Ah... how come?”

            “Well, it's hard to remember to breathe when you've lost your mind.”

            “True, true.”

            And so it was that the man passed away, and, much to the chagrin of everyone involved, his mind was, to most appearances, lost forever.

            However, on a beautiful sunny July day on the side of town that is the side of town not opposite the side of town that people liked to be in the side of town opposite of, two young boys were walking along a cozy little street in an average neighborhood, playing with a football and utilizing their average catching and throwing abilities. One boy even brought his dog along to give him a walk. He was an average dog.

             On a failed attempt for a deep throw down the street, one boy, who missed the catch, was hit in the head with the football. He was hit so hard in fact, that his friend immediately saw that the boy had probably lost his mind. And so they searched the nearby yard, looking for his mind, laughing the whole way as if they were in on a joke the rest of the world could never understand. Finally, after a few minutes of searching, the boy who still had his mind found one in the yard, and, with a quick exclamation; “aha!” handed it to his friend, who was already quite disoriented and unable to fully grasp what was going on, but, with a little help, a lost mind was no longer. And so the boy had a mind of his own again, and, with that, proceeded to play catch with the friend he never had, while walking the dog he had never purchased.

The End

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