I wonder if Michael sees the same person in me before I left. It's so funny how complex we are; we humans. Sometimes I think that we are too complex for our own good. God, if we could only break this mountain of ice standing between us. I take every opportunity that I get to glance at certain parts of his body as if to confirm that it is the same person I knew before my trip. As if to make sure I haven't mistaken someone else for Michael. I hope he doesn't notice that I am doing that. If he does, it would make this so much more awkward than it already is.
He listens to my stories about my overseas' adventures with intent and seems really interested in taking in the details of my trip. I listen to what he has been up to and am delighted to hear that he thought of me constantly while I was away. Maybe he is just saying this because he senses that I need to hear that, but I'll take any sign that we'll be back to normal soon. Maybe if I think a little less and learn to just "be" a little more, things will happen as they should. Michael always does remind me of that. I'm delighted at his suggestion that we go for a walk in the neighborhood. Maybe it will bring up some old memories we could use as chisels to chip away at the ice and see each other more clearly. I need this. I need to reconnect with Michael. Even of it is the only person I am able to do so with. Nothing else would matter - at least for now.