"Snake, you must become one with the woods, you must feel your way thr-"
"Wait, how come you can't get Naomi if you're a frigin Ninja that has nothing else to do?!"
"I enjoy watching old men struggle".
Snake crouched beside a corner. Suddenly, something mechanical walking on two legs slammed into the ground, screaming like a cow. Snake mumbled "What the fuck?! WHY IS EVERYTHING SO STUPID?!"
Suddenly, Raiden jumped from a building and cut the cow things leg of. It groaned and hit the ground. Raiden looked at snake and groaned "Uuhh".
Snake nodded and Raiden jumped back into the air. Then, Snake remembered what he was supposed to be doing, thinking right, gotta get to a helicopter!
He sprinted and almost made it to the next checkpoint before two more cow things landed in front of him. The gamer made Snake sprint forwards, only to get swipped in the side by one of the cow things legs. Snake flew through the air and Otacon yelled "SNAKE?! SSSSNNNNNNNNNNNAAAAAAAAAAAKKKEEE!"
Suddenly, he found himself in front of the two cow things again and thought wwooww, deja vu! The gamer thought Okay, this time, it will work!
Snake dived and got hit by a leg again, but still managed to get to the checkpoint, activating a cutscene. As Snake ran to the helicopter, Otacon yelled "Snake?! SSSSSNNNNNNNNNNNNNAAAAAAAAAAAKKKKKKEEEEEEE!"
The gamer yelled "WHAT THE FU-"
But then the camera switched to Raiden struggling between a few cow things. Then, the game shined and everything was good. Obviously this wouldn't last, the PS3 said it had to download the next portion of the game because downloading all of the game at once doesn't accomplish Kojimas goal! His goal is to make every gamer yell and scream, throwing their controlers at their TVs in fits of anger, or merely scratch their heads after figuring out the plot.
Realistically, it made sense to have Kojima write the screenplay for the last episode of lost because it wouldn't have made any difference. No one would understand what the hell is going on either way. That's where he shines, making gibberish, but you can't make four serious games completely based on nonsense. It's like asking your daughter to perform self-immolation, it just isn't going to happen! SO WHY DID THIS?!
At least if she set herself on fire you could video tape it and say your were there. I guess you can do that with MGS4 as well, but millions of people are playing that game. It just isn't the same...