Sasha walked in the front door, the house was silent. She walked to the living room and peeked in. No one was there. She looked into the kitchen. Empty. She crept down the hallway and looked into her parents bedroom. Also empty.
“Hello?” She yelled. No answer came.
It was very unusual for the house to be empty when she got home, but she welcomed the change. She stepped into her bedroom and sat down at her desk. She had been anxiously waiting all day to check her Facebook and see if Oliver had responded. She pulled the web page up and was greeted by 4 notifications and 1 message. She ignored everything else and went straight to the message. It was from Kelsie.
She felt a pain in her chest. She had really thought he would have responded by now. She passed by Kelsie's message and clicked on the conversation with Oliver. He had seen it this morning at 10:55 but hadn't responded. She reread her response 5 times. Maybe she had been too forward. Maybe she had misinterpreted his message. She leaned back in her chair and felt sick to her stomach. She wished Oliver hadn't seen it. She wished she could go back in time and just take it all back.
Sasha slammed the computer shut. She sat in the chair for another 5 minutes feeling miserable when her phone buzzed in her pocket. She pulled it out and glanced at the caller ID. It was Kelsie. Sasha groaned and threw her phone across the room. She had no desire to talk to anyone right now especially Kelsie. She stood from her chair and looked around the room for anything that might distract her. Her eyes rested on her sketch book. She grabbed the sketch book off the ground and found her pencil and sharpener. Then walked to her window seat.
The seat stretched all the way across her large window and was cushioned with a creamy white thin mattress that her mother had sewn for her before her father had died. The seat was decorated with 3 orange throw pillows. Sasha threw back the bright orange window curtains letting in the soft light of the setting sun. she adjusted the pillows just right and plopped down on the seat. She gazed out the window. She had a perfect view of the back yard which was a tiny dirt patch. Nobody ever went back there. Sasha had a perfect view of the sunset and so she decided to draw it. She dumped her colored pencils out next to her and began blending the colors into a beautiful portrait.
Sasha woke with a start. The room was pitch dark. The sun had completely set. She rolled over and felt something hard underneath her. It was the colored pencils. She brushed them onto the floor. They hit with a loud clatter. She saw a small sliver of light coming from underneath her door. Then realized the sound that woke her was someone coming home. She glanced at her alarm clock. 5:42. She had slept for almost 2 hours and what were they doing home so late. She heard footsteps coming across the wood floor towards her bedroom and the door handle creaking. Sasha closed her eyes pretending to be asleep. She heard the door creak open and a deep voice. It was David's.
“Well that explains why she didn't answer her phone.” It was her mothers voice.
“I guess we didn't need to rush home after all.” David's voice came again. Sasha realized that the two had been out together.
“Well who says we have to end our fun evening just because we're home?” Sasha could hear the sound of them kissing then the door closed.
She heard the footsteps recede and the their bedroom door close. Sasha opened her eyes and groaned. It was all happening again. David probably surprised her with flowers and some beautiful lunch out and a well thought out apology then treated Rachel like a queen until she just couldn't resist forgiving him. Now everything would be all fine and dandy for a few days until David couldn't stand another day without a beer and everything would go back to the way it was. Sasha's apology was probably planned for the next morning at breakfast. She had to think of a way to get out of the house before that.
Sasha rolled over. A tear snuck down her cheek. Then another and another until tears were pouring down her face uncontrollably. Her nose started running. The tears stuck in her throat until she felt she couldn't breath. She sat up and coughed, gasping for breath. She wiped at the tears but they wouldn't stop coming.
“Why?” She whispered, “Why did you have to leave me?” She sputtered and coughed. “I need you!” Her voice was getting louder now. “You were the only one I could rely on. The only one who understood me and you just left.” She paused trying to control her voice. Then whipped her nose on her sleeve. “You Left me alone.” Her voice became quiet again and the tears stopped. “Daddy.” She whispered it as if it felt funny to say. She hadn't said the word in years. She felt as though she had cried every tear she had. Her whole body was numb. She sat on the window seat for 10 minutes in utter silence and blackness. Until she felt she could speak again.
“God?” She paused as if waiting for an answer. “Are you there?” She knew no answer would come but it felt right to ask. “If you can hear me. Will you please help me? Kelsie says you help people in need and that you are always there for me.” She said it as if trying to convince herself. “I don't know if you're even there.” Her head fell to her chest. She felt completely defeated and the tears began again. “What am I doing?” She almost yelled the words. Then gained control of her voice once more. “No one can help me.” She lay back down on the window seat and let the tears flow until she felt so exhausted she couldn't let another tear fall and she drifted off into a peaceful sleep.