Joel had left around 3 so by the time Liam got home there was no evidence of him. Liam opened the door and began babbling about his first day of school. He told me all about his teacher, including how she smells like flowers, what they’re going to learn about, and the little girl that pulled on his long yet boyish locks of blonde hair. “Maybe she likes you,” I teased.
“How can she? It’s only been the first day. She’s just mean.” He crossed his arms and pouted, making him look so cute though he wasn’t trying to be.
“Oh and Mommy?”
“Am I different?”
My ears turned red at what I feared I was going to have to tell my son, “In what way dear?”
He shrugged, “Well no one else goes away to eat pills every time their watch goes off, not even Meanie Girl. Plus everyone looks at me with weird looks”
“Some were sad, others were grossed out.”
I sighed, “Well Liam, from the minute you were born you were different, and not in a good way. Not a good way at all.”
Oh God, where to begin? I couldn’t figure out the best plan.
I decided to leave out the rape. A 5 -year old does not need to hear of that. “Honey, neither of us are normal. We both have a disease, the same disease.”
“But I don’t feel sick.” Liam threw his hands in the air, “i don’t get this…dis…dis…”
“Disease. It’s different Liam. As long as you take your pills, you won’t notice it at all.”
“Oh.” I smiled, I’m actually handling this well.
“Mommy, do we die?”
“Well everyone dies Liam.”
“But do we die faster?”
I felt the tears welling in my eyes, but I attempted to hold them back, “Yes Liam, we die faster than everyone else.”
I closed my eyes passively, “I don’t know honey. Hopefully not too fast.”
“I hope too. I wanna get back at Meanie Girl and…” And Liam continued with all the things he wanted to do before he’d die as I smiled and nodded.
Liam always managed to put a smile on my face.