couple of months later
I sobbed throughout the morning. It was so stupid of me, but I did it anyway. After Liam finished his bowl of cereal he came up to me to say, “It’s okay Mommy, it’s just school.”
I sucked in a sob to say, “Yes but it’s your first day.”
“I’ll be fine. I promise.” The doorbell rang. Liam jumped at the chance to answer it and once he opened the door I heard him shrill, “Joel!”
“Hey buddy, you excited about going to school?”
“Uh-huh! I don’t know about Mommy though.”
“Oh Hazel it’s fine. It’s just his first day of school.”
“I know, I’m being silly.” I truly wasn’t though. I was too happy that Liam lived to be this old, to see this day.
I remember the doctors telling me it would be a miracle for Liam to survive 5 years, and yet here he is in perfect health. Another sob left me and Joel tried to comfort me from whatever I felt was wrong.
I managed to pull myself together to go up to Liam and ask, “So do you have your pills?”
He nodded. “And the note for the nurse?”
“Yep, and my new cool watch.” Liam chimed.
“Good, and everytime that watch goes off, you go to the nurse okay?”
Liam gave me a thumbs up, “Got it.”
“Okay honey, have a great first day of school.” I gave him a kiss good-bye and he sprinted out the door to his bus stop that thankfully was only a few feet from our home.
“Don’t worry Hazel, he’ll be fine. I promise.” Joel whispered to me. I nodded, trying hard to believe him. “You know though, there’s a plus to this.”
“Oh?” I asked.
“We have more alone time now. Or wait, what do you call it again? Adult time?” He laughed heartedly as I shoved him playfully, “You’re terrible.”
“And you are amazing.”