The scene was picture perfect.
Liam was outside playing with Joel in the snow, throwing snowballs at each other and laughing . It almost seemed like Joel was truly his father.
My mother and I watched them from our front bay window as we drank some hot tea together, as we do every Thursday. My mother looked out the window for a bit before asking, “So when are you going to tell him?”
I swirled my tea around in my cup, “I was thinking never.”
“Hazel Marie Parker!”
“Well you said it’s much less likely for him to get it from me. So he never needs to know now does he.”
Mom shook her head, “I don’t like how that sounds at all,” She sighed, “But I can’t change your mind. Just don’t stop taking your AZT .”
“Now why don’t you go outside and join them?”
I got my jacket on and walked outside to be greeted by a dozen snowballs, followed by Joel wrapping his arms around me and giving me a kiss.******
I had finally gotten Liam to take his pills and got him to bed. He had been wanting to stay up with Joel and I so badly, but I managed to convince him otherwise.
So Joel and I sat silently together while watching television. Then, of course, my AZT alarm goes off again. “What is that Hazel? I mean, this hasn’t been the first time.”
“I don’t know, my watch is acting up I guess. Here,” I took my watch, my lifeline off and chucked it into the kitchen, “All better.”
“Well if it’s for something important Hazel then you should keep it.”
“No no. It’s not for something important I promise.”
“Hazel…” Joel looked at me, dark blue eyes searching for the truth, which he knew I wasn’t giving him. I looked away so it would be easier for me to lie, “I really honestly don’t know what is wrong with that. And it isn’t important at all.”
That was the biggest lie of them all.