“Oh goodness Hazel. Shouldn’t you know by now you can’t give it to him from kissing?”
“Unless he has a sore in his mouth.” I was still in tears from the earlier events and now my mother was ripping me about what I had done.
“So then you ask him if he has any sores in his mouth.” I laughed at how crazy that sounded, “Oh yeah. ‘Got any sores in your mouth?’ That’s not strange at all.”
“Answer this: did you want to kiss him?”
“Then what’s the problem,” She asked. I crossed my arms across my chest and turned away from her.
Mom laid her hands on my shoulders and softly said, “Hazel, you don’t need to condemn yourself to Hell. If you were meant for that place, you wouldn’t have been given Liam,” I pretended to ignore her wise words, “Give in to what you want for once…instead of what the disease wants. My daughter will not be a puppet.”
I was just putting Liam to bed when the doorbell rang. I ran downstairs to get it to see Joel standing at my door. The guy just wasn’t giving up, “Joel-” I began.
“Just hear me out Hazel. After I thought about it I realized that I probably went way too fast for someone who had gotten raped in their past. And whatever you are talking about about you being “not right” for me. Well I don’t know why but I have a feeling you’re wrong.”
I let the silence help me soak in Joel’s words as well as the scene outside. It was beginning to snow for the first time this year and the big white flakes were sticking in Joel’s black hair. My eyes landed on his, flakes even sticking to his eyelashes, but the blue and gold was still visible. I walked up to Joel and whispered, “You’re wrong.”
“You didn’t go too fast.” Then I grabbed him and pulled his lips to mine, cold from being outside.
While we were kissing my AZT alarm went off, “What was that?” Joel asked.
“Absolutly nothing.” I whispered to him.