After the incident at lunch I crept away into the bathroom, peeking in to make sure no one was there and then sitting down in one of the stalls shaking uncontrollably. The panic attack came all of a sudden after the insults hurled at me and I wasn’t calming down anytime soon. I began hyperventilating and stumbled for the secret compartment in my backpack. I grabbed the small bottle of honey whiskey quickly, uncapping it and chugging the whole thing down in what seemed like a single gulp.
As the liquor ran through me I began to slowly calm as the sharpness of my mind began to slowly dissipate. The pain slowly dissipated as my old friend creeped slowly throughout my veins, and slowly it’s as if it laid a gentle hand on me and whispered caringly into my ears, “It’s okay Hayden, You’ll always have me.” I nodded slowly getting up slowly as I made my way to class, vision a little blurred.
I stepped into my English class and tuned out all of the jeering, listening to my heartbeat and the steady pumping of the blood that flowed throughout my veins.
When class was finally over I made my way to my locker, texting Alvera that I would meet her at the car. I slowly turned the combination as I felt someone come up behind me, sighing I slightly tilted my head so they could hear me.
“If you’re going to do something, then do it already,” I said, my voice like a cold wind blowing from a cave, “I have other obligations than just being your punching bag.” Whoever it was stopped quickly, taking a quick breath and then released his words.
“Listen Hayden, I wanted to talk….” Isaac said, as I whipped around to see it was just him and the hallways were completely void of life. I stepped away quickly, backing up into my locker, grabbing my bags quickly and moving away to the side of him.
“It’s never just a matter of wanting to talk Isaac.” I said warily, “We both damn well know that.” He stopped and shook his head, rolling his eyes.
“You should be happy someone other than that loser Alvera wants to talk to you for once,” He growled, gripping my wrist tightly as I froze.
“Leave her the hell out of this,” I snarled, “She has nothing to do with you and I, at least she has the fucking guts to stand by me when I need her!” That gave him a slight jolt and the look of confidence he had faded momentarily.
“Hayden I did what I had to, to make sure that I didn’t lose everything, you know I-“ He seemed desperate for once, but I ripped my hand away from him quickly with a loud scoff.
“So you leave your best friend to lose everything instead? Really fucking noble of you Isaac.” I snapped as I whipped around, making sure he wasn’t able to see the tears as I moved swiftly to get away from him. He hollered at me to stop and come back, but I left him alone, in no mood for anymore of his bull shit.
I managed to get out to the now empty parking lot, taking a moment to wipe away all of the tears before I went to the car where Alvera stood waiting nervously. I forced a fake smile as I walked over, motioning for her to get into the car before I myself got in and started it. I took a breath as I peeled out of the parking lot, hoping that Alvera wouldn’t notice the falsehood of my emotions, and that Isaac wouldn’t have the balls to come over to my house again and ‘talk’ to me.