Geography - Where in the world am I?

I did not like Geography, and Geography did not like me - at all. I was happy in my own little world, I didn't need to know how to get around in the big world. Everyone else could muck about with globes and maps, and weather patterns, time zones and such, I'd rather stick my face in a book of fiction. I wasn't all that interested in facts. Granted, the books I read had places in them, and places are part of Geography, but I preferred to ignore that, because a lot of the places were fictional anyway.

I took Geography somewhere around fifty years ago. I kid you not! I went to grade school (grades 1-8) in a one room stone school house in rural Ontario, Canada, in the 1950's. It had no plumbing, very little electricity, and a wood stove for heat. There were also no computers, because they hadn't been invented yet. 

The one thing it did have was Geography. I went to eight grades in that school, and every grade had Geography. It was evil! It tried to teach me about places to the North, South, East and West of us, but I didn't give a spit, as long as I could find my way home!

There were two huge blackboards at the front of the room, and they each had a huge map attached to the wall in a fat roll on the top. Each map rolled down, and if the teacher didn't have a firm grip on it, it rolled back up with a loud BANG! It sounded like a gun shot. One time it scared me so bad I jumped up in my seat, fell sideways, and pulled my desk with me, onto the floor!

I blamed the whole thing on Geography, because maps are  instruments of torture for Geography. We a had a map of Canada and the United States on the left, and a map of the continents of the world, on the right. Sometimes the teacher would stand on a chair and change the map rolls to specific countries in Europe, etc.

The bane of my existence was the names of the Great Lakes between Canada and the United States : Lakes Huron, Ontario, Michigan, Erie, and Superior. I somehow eventually got those names hammered into my poor aching head, but for at least a couple of  grades, I thought the Great Lakes were any lake with the word 'Great' in front of it. I remember there was a Great Bear Lake, and a Great Slave Lake in Northern Canada, that I used on a quiz once. I got my knuckles rapped for it, too. Again, I blame Geography.

I have absolutely no sense of direction whatsoever, beyond left and right. I blame that on Geography too! If that wasn't bad enough, when I was all grown up, the Berlin wall came down, and the U.S.S.R was split up into smaller countries. I was just getting used to the old maps, when they went and changed them all! I like to travel, but I still hate Geography. There is just no getting away from it!

The End

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