Firstly congratulations on the female of you two.. (unless you're both female... mmmmmmmmmmmmm).. for keeping your pregnancy a secret... i guess the spouse must have just thought you were just a fat cow.
I would suggest you go to some liposuction place and pay them a £5er (or a plate of chips... people in there have no qualms about carbs) for a fake certificate of suckery. Then either sell the baby on the black market, or if you feed it up with herbs and stuffing, by christmas you'll have a cheap alternative to turkey. Merry Xmas!
Dear Marasdfsius ,
I suffer from A FDSA frequent finger spazmasfdvas, and due to myasefhd irrational fear ofddssa the backspaceafdsa/delete keys (sg asd what if i afsdas delete more than asfhf just the words asfgaafs as gag as gaafh like my soul?) my typingas fa skills offer alot agfhhf to be desired ahgsgihjahhjsajhopjasfahoa.
Is thertw s hhsdgs anything you avsn vas can suggest?D?k/?k