Dear Doggie-Sitter

I can't believe you've aleady shelled out on vet bills when you don't even own the mutt!   Not to mention giving him food you've probably slaved to earn.  You'll never get that money back, you know... and for what?

     The dog has a dicky heart.  He'll only get worse.  Before you know it he'll have lost control of his bladder and bowels too.  Don't come crying to me when your carpets and soft-furnishings are ruined. 

   If the dog wants to go, let him.  Not only is it the kindest thing, but it also means you won't have to repaint your door, where he's scratched all the paint off.

    Oh.  One thing though, do check the lost and found columns first, in case there's a reward for his return.  It's unlikely, but check anyway.




Dear Marius

     I'm very worried.  Last week, I borrowed my dad's car without asking, and today an official-looking letter arrived, addressed to him.  I'm not sure, but I think I may have been going a little fast, driving back from the night club.  And I think I may have been caught on a speed camera.

If this thing in the envelope is a fine, I'm toast.  I'm really scared.  My dad has a bad temper.

Please, please help, Marius.

Trembling Teenager

The End

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