Mario goes to Kindergarten

One day, Mario was in his house painting the TV yellow to make it look like a big hunk of cheese. However, he was using purple paint to do it. Luigi came in with the mail.

Mario: Did I get a doctor in the mail?

Luigi: No... there's just bills and more bills. Let's see... bill... bill... bill...

Mario: So I got-a Bill Gates in the mail?

Luigi: ... bill... bill... ad... you've just won a million dollars... legendary sacred statue... whoa! Mario, look at this!

Luigi held out a letter to Mario, but Mario looked at his empty hand.

Mario: Wow-a! Your hand!

Luigi: No, Mario, the other hand!

Mario stared at the letter in Luigi's hand. He observed it very very closely. He poked at it and stared at it. Finally, he spoke.

Mario: Hey, your hand has a glove on it!

Luigi: No, Mario. This letter!

Mario: A B C X W L M P!!!

Luigi: MARIO!!!

Mario: WHAT?!

Luigi shoved the letter into Mario's chest. Mario stared at it for four hours, then finally picked it up. He started to sniff it. Hehe... Snifit... Anyway, Mario finally opened the letter and stared at it for another hour. Finally, Luigi came in and grabbed it out of his hand.

Luigi: I'll read it to you, I forgot that you couldn't read.

Mario: I WISH I WAS AN OSCAR MEIYER WIENER!!!

Luigi: Dear Mr. Mario Mario. We regret to inform you that you have never passed Kindergarten. Because of this, you must take a full week of Kindergarten, or else you can never get a job. This includes being a hero. So if you wish to continue saving Peach from Bowser and his kids, you will have to finish Kindergarten. Your first day will be Monday, July 21. You will be attending Mushroom Elementary.

Luigi stared at Mario.

Luigi: You've never finished Kindergarten?

Mario: Hey-a, I'm cold.

Luigi gave Mario an odd look. Then he put the letter back in the envelope and sighed.

Luigi: Well Mario, looks like you're going back to school starting Monday.

Mario: I'm-a Mario!

A few days passed by, and Monday came. Luigi escorted his brother to the Mushroom Elementary, where a bunch of little Mushroomer kids were playing outside. Luigi left his brother by the front doors.

Mario: Mamamia!

Mario kicked down the doors and ran inside, jumping up and down as though he were a kangaroo. Suddenly, a large Mushroomer stepped in front of him, but Mario knocked him to the ground and continued bouncing.

Mushroomer: MARIO!!!

Mario stopped bouncing and looked at the roof.

Mario: THE ROOF IS TALKING TO ME!!!!

Mushroomer: Mario, behave yourself!

Mario: Yes, roof! I will do anything you say!

Mushroomer: MARIO, DOWN HERE!!!

Mario looked down at the Mushroomer that had stood in his way. He then started laughing like crazy.

Mushroomer: Mario, stop that!

Mario continued laughing at nothing. He was rolling all over the floor laughing his head off. Finally he stopped laughing as suddenly as he had started and stared at the Mushroomer.

Mushroomer: Anyway... Mario, I have been informed that you will be retaking Kindergarten for a week. I have been assigned the task of teaching you. You may call me Mr. Stin.

Mario: Okay, Betty!

Mr. Stin: This is gonna be harder than I thought...

Later that day, class had finally begun. Mario was sitting next to some fat girl with glasses.

Mr. Stin: Hello class!

Class: Hello, Mr. Stin!

Mario: Hello, Betty!

Mr. Stin: Now, today, we have a special student with us. He's retaking Kindergarten and we're going to help him! He's none other than the famous Mario Mario!

The class looked at Mario. A couple kids stared. Others started whispering to one another.

Mr. Stin: Okay class. Today we're going to learn the alphabet! Mario, can you say your ABCs?

Mario: Your A ski please!

Mr. Stin: No... You know, A B C D E F G.

Mario: A B C DELL X E K!!!

Mr. Stin: Mario, I won't tolerate your silliness.

Mario: I HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM!!!

Mr. Stin: You'll have to wait until class is over.

Some kids started whispering to each other again.

Mr. Stin: Your attention, class. Can anybody tell Mr. Mario his ABCs?

The fat girl next to Mario raised her hand.

Mr. Stin: Tanya?

Tanya: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O-

Mario: X L P!!!

Mr. Stin: Mario, it's rude to interrupt.

Mario: But I wanna say the ABCs!

Mr. Stin: Well wait until Tanya says it.

Tanya: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U-

Mario: I HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM!!!

Mr. Stin: Mario, please don't interrupt! I'm sorry, but because you interrupted Tanya after I warned you, I'm putting your name on the board.

Mario: But I gotta go BAD!!!

Mr. Stin: Okay, Mario. Go to the bathroom!

Mario did nothing.

Mr. Stin: Well?

Mario: Well what?

Mr. Stin: Aren't you going to the bathroom?

Mario: I don't want to!

Mr. Stin: You interrupted Tanya to tell me you needed to go, so go!

Mario: But I don't need to go.

Mr. Stin: ... Mario, I don't find this funny at all. I'm putting a check by your name.

Tanya: A B C D-

Mr. Stin: Hold on a second, Tanya.

Mario: I HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM!!!

Mr. Stin: Mario, if you do this again, I'm giving you another check. That means you'll have to stay after school.

Tanya: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y-

Mario: Betty! Tanya's wrong! It's X L V N O-

Mr. Stin: Mario, now's not the time to say if Tanya was wrong or not. That's my job. Now please let Tanya finish her ABCs.

Mario: I HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM!!!

Mr. Stin: Mario, don't push it.

Mario: Push-a what?

Mr. Stin: Okay, enough ABCs. It seems we all know them by now thanks to Tanya. Besides, it's naptime!

Mario: But-a I'm not hungry!

Mr. Stin: Mario, naptime is when we all take a time out to sleep for a half hour.

Mario: Okie dokie.

So, after setting mats all over the floor (Mario tried to eat his but Mr. Stin stopped him), the kids were soon fast asleep. Except for Mario...

Mario: Dum dee dum dum!

Mr. Stin walked over to Mario's mat and got his attention.

Mr. Stin: Mario, don't you think it would be a good idea for you to try and sleep now?

Mario: Why?

Mr. Stin: Because you need rest.

Mario: Why?

Mr. Stin: Because you'll be cranky.

Mario: Why?

Mr. Stin: Because you wouldn't have gotten sleep.

Mario: Why?

Mr. Stin: Haha, you do have a good sense of humor, but please, try to sleep.

Mr. Stin walked away from Mario's mat and sat at his desk to take a break. Two minutes passed.

Mario: I HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM!!!

Mario screamed so loudly that he woke up all the students, who were now griping and complaining. Mr. Stin got up from his desk.

Mr. Stin: I'm sorry, Mario...

Mr. Stin put another check next to Mario's name. Mario started to cheer and dance.

Mario: WAHOO!!!!

Tanya: Stop it, Mario!

Kid: Yeah, quit it! We're trying to sleep!

Mr. Stin: Now now, class. It's no time to get mad. We only have about five minutes of naptime left anyway.

The kids started complaining and putting up their mats. After this was done, Mario pulled out the bottom mat and they toppled to the floor. Putting them back up took up the rest of naptime. Mr. Stin settled them all down for story time afterwards.

Mr. Stin: Now class, this story is called “The Three Little Yoshis”. Once upon a time there were three little Yoshis. They each had to make a house. The first Yoshi made a house out of Super Leaves. The second little Yoshi made a house out of Mushrooms. But the third little was smarter, and decided to build his house out of ? Blocks. One day, a-

Mario: I HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM!!!

Mr. Stin: Mario, please don't interrupt story time... Now, as I was saying... One day, a big bad cloud named Huff N. Puff came. He liked attacking little Yoshis. He went to the first little Yoshi's house and said, "Come out little Yoshi, I have a treat for you!" The Yoshi said, "I'm not coming out and there's nothing you can do!" This made Huff N. Puff mad, so he said, "Then I'll huff, n' I'll puff, and I'll BLOW YOUR HOUSE DOWN!!!" The Yoshi-

Mario: I HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM!!!

Mr. Stin: MARIO!!! ... Um... I mean, Mario please don't interrupt. If you interrupt one more time, I'm going to have to give you another check, and you know what that means.

Mario: I get a free tomato?

Mr. Stin: It means you'll have to go to the principal's office!

Mario: Mamamia!

Mario observed the wall for the rest of story time. Finally, Mr. Stin ended the story and announced playtime. Mario got paired up with Tanya, and they got to play house.

Tanya: Okay, Mario. I'll be the wife and you can be the hu-

Mario: TEACHER!!! TANYA'S CHEATING!!!

Mr. Stin: Tanya, are you cheating?

Tanya: We're just trying to play house!

Mr. Stin: Mario?

Mario: I'm-a Mario!

Mr. Stin: Mario-I-do-not-find-this-funny-at-all.

Mr. Stin walked back to his desk.

Tanya: So I'm the wife, you can be the husband. Hi, honey! How was your day?

Mario: I win!

Tanya: Mario, you can't "win".

Mario: YOU'RE JUST A SORE LOSER!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!

Tanya: Mr. Stin! Mario's making me mad!

Mario: But it's-a me, Mario!

Mr. Stin: Yes, Mario, but that doesn't mean you can't be punished. I'm sorry to do this, but you'll need to take this note to the principal.

Mr. Stin handed Mario a note. Mario walked out of the classroom with the note in his hand. He walked to the girls bathroom and danced in the toilet. He flushed the note down the toilet along with various other things, such as the soap dispenser, a book he had in his hat, and all the toilet paper. Mario walked out of the stall he was in as a bunch of girls walked in and started screaming. Mario left the bathroom and went back to class.

Mr. Stin: Well, Mario, did you learn your lesson?

Mario: Oh yeah, I got-a beaten bad!

Mr. Stin: Well, I'm sorry to hear that, and we've ended playtime for a bathroom bre-

Tanya: Mr. Stin! Mario was in the girls bathroom!

Mr. Stin: MARIO, IS THIS TRUE?!

Mario: It's-a me, Mario!

Mr. Stin: MARIO!!! *sigh* I mean...

Mr. Stin tried to maintain a smile, but got a creepy-looking grin that scared Tanya.

Mr. Stin: Mario.... you… have... be-

Mario: I HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM!!!

Mr. Stin blew his top.

Mr. Stin: THAT'S IT, MARIO!!! I'VE HAD ENOUGH!!! I'LL PASS YOU IF YOU JUST LEAVE AND NEVER COME HERE AGAIN!!!

Mario: Okie dokie!

Mario walked through the door next to Mr. Stin.

Mr. Stin: AND YOU JUST WALKED INTO A CLOSET!!!

Mario walked out.

Mario: I don't-a have to go to the bathroom anymore! Seeya!

Mr. Stin: O_O

Mario left the building and ran to the bakery. After walking into the back and getting yelled at and kicked out, he went home.

Luigi: So, how did it-a go?

Mario: How did-a what go?

Luigi: Kindergarten.

Mario: I wanna go to Kindergarten!

Luigi: Well, aren't you going back tomorrow?

The phone rang and Luigi picked it up. After a few, "uh huh"s and "yes"s, he put the phone down.

Luigi: Well, they told me you passed. Good job-a brother!

Mario: Hee hee... I got it!

Mario left the house and climbed onto the roof, where he began painting the chimney pink to make it look like a baseball bat... but he was using the orange paint to do it...

The End

The End

4 comments about this story Feed