Manda Margolyes: Young Lady of Letters

 Miss Amanda Margolyes

31 Gershwin Mews

(off McCartney Road)

Crumpton

Mr Philip Shorter

The House of Commons

London

20th May 2008

 

Dear Mr Shorter, 

This week, in Literacy, we have been learning about letter writing. We have also been learning about politicians and MPs . I hope you don't mind, but I thought I could practice on you. I would have written to the Prime Minister but I thought he might be a bit busy.

I would like to help to change the world.   I know I'm not very old, but I thought I could help change things in little ways. So  I decided it would be a good idea to write to you, so you can talk to the other MPs about my ideas, or whatever it is you all do in the House of Commons.

I am one of your constituents.   Well, I didn't vote for you, as I can't do that for another seven years, but my mum did.   I asked my dad if he did but he said it was none of my business.   I suspect he voted for that lady one because she's quite pretty.   Anyway, congratulations on winning the bye-election last week.

The first thing I want to talk to you about is something that's bugged me since Reception class.  The letter ''W''.

Why is it that all the other letters in the alphabet, when you say them, are just one syllable?   It goes: ay, bee, see, dee, and so on, all the way until nearly the end and suddenly it's ''double-yoo''.   Why is that?   Two extra syllables!   What a massive waste of time for the teachers, and the pupils, for that matter. I'm sure if you add up all the time, over the years, taken up by those extra two syllables, every time a teacher has said ''W'', plus all the time taken up by the pupils repeating it back...   Well, it could probably add up to another week's holiday every year in each school.

So, my proposal is that you introduce a new law, to pronounce the letter ''W'' as ''wee''.   You would probably need to do it gradually, so you can start it off in pre-schools and nurseries and things, and then ''phase it in'' (my mum says that's the right expression for doing it gradually) to bigger schools over the next few years.

Just imagine how great it would be, if you tell someone a web address, for instance.   Instead of saying: ''It's double-yoo, double-yoo, double-yoo dot...'' you can just say:  ''It's wee, wee, wee dot...'' So much easier, isn't it?   I hope you agree.    I'll leave it with you, then.

I will probably write to you about something else later on.   I have lots of ideas for changing things.

I hope you are well.

 

Yours sincerely,

Manda Margolyes (Miss)

The End

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