Kind-hearted Melba is there waiting for you.
“Hi?” You say, as she invites you in. You watch the odd collections of animals (both dead and alive!) that she keeps in her half-dilapidated bungalow. As well as the glass cases of dead butterflies, there are two dogs yapping around your feet and zany, tropical fish are swimming around in a glass bowl on a kitchen worktop. You wonder what it would be like to be able to have those sorts of creatures in your flat, or to be a skilled fishing-person to be able to have so much more than you need to sell for a hefty personal profit.
“So…Toasty,” Melba says in her braying Australian accent, calling you by her idea of a ‘pet name’, which you actually find rather tasteless, “I was cleaning out my attic yesterday-”
What attic? You wonder, but do not interrupt.
“-And I found some glorious wallpaper from my younger days. Rather like the kind that would be found in a manor house. So, I thought of you, Toasty, and how much it would brighten up your flat! It’s quite a long roll, but I’m willing to sell it to you for £15.”
Do you really want the wallpaper for that price?