Hello, my name is Mr. Adam, and I am Charlotte's imaginary friend. Now, you may not believe that imaginary friends really have personalities of their own, you may think they are vague figments of a little child's wild creativity, and you may think they are silly and stupid, but then you would be denying my own existence and gravely insulting me.
Dear, that would be a low blow, mister! Saying that I don't really exist, even as I speak to you?--That would be cruel.
So forget your adult judgment and listen up; I am about to tell you all about my job and role as a quality imaginary friend, graduating straight from the Cool World for Young Minds with top marks. So be a child and let this story happen!
Let me begin by saying that it is an honor to stand by Charlotte, to make her laugh, and to answer her questions with the most ridiculous explanations I can come up with. I am her companion, her friend, her fellow adventurer, and her mentor.
When she has a question such as, "Why does mommy put yucky mushrooms in the stew?" I answer with: "Because it's a test. You win if you can hide the mushrooms in the vase without anyone noticing."
Do you see what I mean? This is a fun job! However, it's also really difficult. Like right now...Charlotte is lost in a scary city.
It's my job to keep her safe. And that means I have to use my most powerful magic. It's an artform, it's a skill, and it's a way of life. I am currently protecting Charlotte by...Make-Believing!
Make-Believing is everything. An imaginary friend who cannot make believe is vague and obscure. The better they are, the more real they are. And, I must say, aha, that I am a professional.
Charlotte is lost in a scary city, and yet, so far, she is fine. That's because she's my space-partner on a grave quest through the alien streets of another planet! How can you worry about your mommy when such action and adventure is only a moment away!
"Charlotte!" I cry. "I see a safe haven through the armies of aliens! Follow me! Follow me! I'll keep our invisibility cloak on long enough to get there! It's a Portal!"
Actually, it's really a book store...But we shall see, we shall see...