I had heard voices rising through their throats. Sadly, my obsessive, controlling, lunacy side had come out. I do not comprehend fully about myself, of how or why I did such things.
When I entered their cell, or holding place as I typically categorize it, but to them it was a cell, their faces shiny from the sweat. Their mouths agape from knowing nothing. I am not a regular pervert… but their huffs and puffs showed immensely in their heaving chests. I hadn’t spoken at all. In fact, I only stood there, in front of them, observing them. Of course they’re not thinking that.
“Where are we?” Noah asked breaking the stammering pattern of huffs.
I described that we were here. Obviously, it’s in the middle of nowhere…a deserted area. It wouldn’t matter if the house was surrounded by a thousand police stations, all the screams have only echoed for a shot amount of distance provided in the complexion of the under-house. Go ahead…if you are here at the residence reading this now…take a scream or two…with a partner on the first floor and you where they were. Your partner can’t hear a thing.
“Why are we here?” Whitney asked.
I knelt on one knee…I looked straight into Noah’s swirling brown and green eyes. I answered Whitney's question, “Because I am a lunatic… who only wanted to entertain himself…or get power by causing others pain, to replace the power that was taken from me as a child. That is why I bring people here…now you two are here because you dared poor Noah…the only girl I didn’t want to harm, to come and talk with me.”
I maintained the eye contact with Noah during the whole explanation.
“If you like her, why did you kidnap us? Are you going to hurt her?” Whitney sickeningly asked.
“At first glance… I didn’t want to look at her. Because she doesn’t deserve to have eyes like mine to be placed on her. I only like her because she is innocent…the others were whores, disgraces of humans. I like her character, but I wouldn’t want her to even like me back.” I said.
It was true. I don’t want her to like me. She was too good. I didn’t want to even become attached to her…and I wish I never liked her. I knew she wouldn’t like me in return of the same emotion. There was no point in getting high hopes for her to grow even the slightest non-bitter emotion towards me…and be disappointed and let self-hatred consume me because I knew I was going to hurt her, and I knew for an absolute fact, she would scream, “I HATE YOU!”
Just like everyone else had.
I had shushed Whitney. Not to be rude or just for her to shut her mouth. It was pure instinct for someone to ramble on asking questions because their life is on their head and shoulders. I only told her to be quite because I wanted silence. Let them get used to my presence. Let them accept the fact they were not getting out alive, and that they won’t see daylight again. I sat crisscrossed on the concrete floor in the middle of the ends of the mattresses that were angled to face me. I let my head fall on my shoulders…my long black air draping over my entire face. I stared at the floor between my legs, and listened to their breathing. I will always hate myself, knowing I will make Noah's breathing stop forever.