The next morning I woke up slowly coming to terms with what happened the previous night. Jumping out of bed I ran to get my sim card from my jean pocket and hurried around to find my spare “for emergencies” phone. I didn’t quite know why I was rushing as I wasn’t expecting a text from anyone but secretly I was hoping I would. I turned the phone on, my hands trembling, I waited impatiently for it to load. Suddenly I jumped as it beeped loudly. The screen read ‘One new message received.’ “YAY!” I thought, almost jumping with joy. I quickly pressed the read button.
“Morning, hope you feel ok today, was worried about you last night. Gimme a text when you wake up babes. Xxx P.S that kiss was amazing last night xxx”
I rushed to reply as I saw he’d sent it over three hours earlier.
“Morning, yes I’m much happier this morning, cant stopped smiling if I’m honest. I know I was there hehe xxx”
I leaped from my bed finally the time registered in my head, it was almost midday. I jumped as my phone rang full blast, it was Justin.
“Hello.” I answered.
“Hey, how are you?” He asked, even though I couldn’t see him I knew he was smiling.
“I’m ok, how are you?”
“I’m good. What are you doing today?”
“Nothing planned, why?”
“Wondered if you fancied grabbing some lunch with me?”
“Yeah sure, what time?”
“Well I can come to yours for half one if that’s ok and then we can walk into town or something.”
“Yeah ok sure, just come round at half one, I’ll get ready now.”
“Cool see you soon.”
I rushed to get ready in the short hour and a half I had before Justin arrived, as I put on my white plumps he knocked on the door.
“Hiya.” I smiled as I opened the door.
He smiled back at me with an amazed expression on his face. “Wow! You look,” he paused for a second while he scanned my outfit with careful eyes, “amazing.”
I could feel the blood racing to my face and my cheeks started to burn. “Thanks.” I grinned looking at the floor hiding my fire engine red cheeks. “So do you.”
He really did, and he's scent with breathtaking. He was wearing a tightly fitted black shirt with skinny black jeans and posh shiny black shoes. Very smart, I felt at little too casual in comparison in my knee-length white jean skirt and baby pink halterneck top. Looking at his outfit once again I started to wonder if this was simply a friendly lunch outing or more like a...a date.
“So where do you want to go for lunch?” He asked after a moment of silence.
“I don't mind it's completely up to you.”
“Well you choose, lady's choice.”
“I choose that you choose.” I said with a teasing smile.
He signed jokingly, “fine.” He thought for a moment. “What about Tootsies? I heard it's really nice in there.” He suggested.
“Yeah, apparently the head chef there is the best in London. But it's extremely overpriced, I only have a bit of cash on me.”
“Don't worry, I got ya.” He smiled and winked at me.
“No, it's ok. Let's go there another time when I have a bit more money.”
“But you chose then I could choose. And I choose Tootsies, so let's go.” He said still smiling. He wasn't going to take no for an answer so I gave in.
“Ok, but next time I pay. Deal?”
“Nope.” He grinned.
We walked in silence for a while until I suddenly felt his hand a lot closer to mine. I carried on walk trying to ignore the closeness of his hand to mine but then he began to touch my fingers and it was almost as if he was stroking them, this wasn't an accident this was a hint. A massive one. My heart was racing as I felt his fingers slowly interlock with mine. It felt so right and his skin was so irresistibly soft, but at the same time I felt like something was stopping me, there was a part of me that felt like I was cheating on Mike. Even though things were obviously over with him, technically I never officially ended it with him. I knew I was being ridiculous, I wasn't cheating he tried to rape me! But there was still a voice in my head telling me what I was doing was wrong and that I should stop it.
Before I could move my hand away from his, Mike was staring at the opposite side of the road. I froze in horror and shock. He’d been released! They let him go. What was he gonna do? And I was still holding Justin's hand! Just as I tried to move it away Justin held it tighter and whispered “just ignore him and keep walking.” He's eye locked with Mike's for a split second and then he began to continue walking down the road, dragging me behind him. I turned to face the way I was going but had to look behind me every few seconds to check the whereabouts of Mike.
As we continued to walk down the street, still hand in hand, I started to hear loud heavy footsteps behind us, they were getting closer and fast. I was too scared to turn around to see if it was Mike so I just hurried a little faster down the road until we finally reached Tootsies. Justin stepped ahead releasing my hand at last as he held open the door for me, I was just about to step inside when I notice someone's reflection in his eyes. A reflection I recognised extremely well, it was Mike. I watched in fear as Justin's eyes narrowed with anger. Finally, I turned around to see Mike standing just a few feet away also with narrow eyes filled with fury and rage.
“Mike, what are you doing here?” I asked casually.
“I need to talk to you...alone.” He muttered still staring at Justin.
“There's nothing to talk about Mike, it's over. For good. Now please leave so me and Justin can go for lunch in peace.” I tried to stay strong and firm but I couldn't tell if it had worked. I started to walk inside turning my back to him when I felt a hand push me and turned to see Justin spread out across the doorway blocking Mike who was standing inches away from Justin's face.
“Justin, let's just go.” I whispered.
“Ok, just leave Mike.” He said, he's voice also firm. Then he followed behind me as I continued to walk inside.
Lunch with Justin was different to lunch with my other friends, I didn't know whether it was because we both clearly wanted to be more or just because of his personality. I felt safe, protected with Justin. With Mike I felt protected but it was different, as if he wasn't trying to protect me from people but to protect himself from losing me. Justin made me feel relaxed and most importantly, happy. We ended up staying in the restaurant for almost three hours, time always seemed to fly when I was with him.
When we finally left I was astonished to find Mike still waiting outside, sitting on the pavement by the main big window of the restaurant, he had his head in his hands so I grabbed Justin's hand and walked straight past him as if he wasn’t there, praying he wouldn‘t look up until we were far away. Still hand-in-hand we walked quickly down the road towards my house, I slowly turned around to check Mike was still outside the restaurant, trying hard to keep up with Justin, Mike wasn’t outside the restaurant anymore. Where had he gone? Had he seen us leave? But he wasn’t behind us. I lent into Justin whispering, “Mike’s gone.”
We both stopped confused. “Maybe he got bored and went home.”
“No, Mike isn’t one to get bored and give up on something, not when it comes to me anyway. ARGH! I just wish he‘d leave me alone!”
“Maybe we should just go back to yours so we aren’t in public for a bit and then later we can go to the cinema or something.” Justin said, comforting me with a hug and a smile. I couldn’t help nod and smile back, I closed my eyes and hugged him back tightly. As we began to walk back to mine the sky suddenly became grey and there was a horrible chilly wind coming from the south, I shivered as goose bumps covered my body, stupid English weather, you get dressed for a summer day and it decides to rain! I felt Justin slowly release my hand from his and take off his jacket placing it over my trembling torso. Shame he didn’t have any tights!
“Thank you” I smiled looking at his gorgeous symmetrical face.
Even though the weather was wet and miserable, I most certainly wasn’t! We walked and talked all the way to my house still hand in hand. I felt as if nothing could ruin my mood, that's until I saw who was waiting on my doorstep...
I froze staring at him. I didn't know what to do. He looked up and glared at Justin who was still holding my hand tightly. Finally, I spoke "Mike, you need to leave!"
"I need to talk to you." He paused and looked at Justin, "alone!"
I signed. There was no stopping him, he would just keep following me and sitting on my doorstep till I spoke to him. I turned to Justin and smiled, "I'll give you a text later." So with a quick embrace and kiss on the cheek I walked down my path to open the door letting me and Mike inside. As I closed the door I waved to Justin goodbye, I jumped as I felt Mike slam the door shut from behind me. Turning around to face him I took a deep calming breath.
"Right, you have me alone so talk, you have ten minutes." I said firmly but I could feel my legs wobbling.
Before I knew it I was against the wall, Mike's body pushing against me and his lips on mine. I tried to push him off but his kisses where different to before, they were loving and passionate, not how I remembered them at all. After a few minutes he moved away and looked at me smiling.
"You kissed me back." He said grinning from ear to ear.
"It was hard not to Mike."
"No, you kissed me back properly!" His voice raised but was calm and happy.
"Well, yeah, but, " I paused trying to think of another excuse but he was right. I did kiss him back, and it felt nice. I sat down on the sofa still not finishing my sentence.
"Natisha, please I need you. I'm so sorry about the other night! I love you so much and it was such a stupid thing to do. I just lost it and couldn't help myself. I understand it will take time for you to trust me again, but please give me a second chance. I will do whatever it takes!"
I shook my head. "I can't Mike. You've really hurt me, I will never be able to trust you the way I did before." I paused again, I stood up and walked towards him slowly. I could feel his eyes follow me as I moved. I wrapped my arms around his neck and hugged him tightly, then whispered, "you need to let me go and move on. We're over Mike." I could feel his body tense as I said each word.
Still hugging me he said "I can't. I just can't, I love you so much!"
"I loved you too." I replied breaking away from our embrace at last.
He looked at me in the eye, "there's seriously no way you could give me another chance?"
My heart was racing and my head was spinning. I scanned his face as he waited for my response, his eyes were filled with heartache but also with deep hope that I would give him another chance. The more I read his eyes the more I felt his pain. I sat back now and he sat beside me. Still waiting for my answer he reached for my hand.
"I understand it's going to be hard, but we can make it work."
I didn't know what to do, I was dizzy with confusion, part of me wanted to say 'Ok' but the other half wanted Justin. People say listen to your heart, but I had which half was my head and which half was my heart. Then I realised how hurt Justin would be if I told him I was giving Mike another chance, could I really do that to him after everything he'd done for me in the past few days. I had to be honest with both of them, so I answered.
"Mike, you're not going to like what I'm about to say but I'm not going to lie to you." I paused. He just looked at me, his face filled with worry and disappointment. "Well, the truth is, I'm kinda seeing Justin now. I think anyway. He's been amazing these last few days, and I can't hurt him after everything he's done for me. But he isn't the only reason I can't get back with you, I've fallen out of love with you. I'm sorry Mike but you had me and you ruined it. I think it's best for us both to just move on now."
He didn't answer, but after several seconds he just nodded, stood up and headed for the door. Unsure of what to do I followed him into the hallway. As he opened the door he turned to me, kissed me on the forehead and without another word he was closed the door behind him. I dropped to the floor, head in my knees. Had I done the right thing? Was he going to be ok? Is that it now, will he leave me alone for good? They were the questions only time could answer. Feeling sick with worry and uncertainty I reached for my phone and rang Jayne.
"Hey Natisha, how are you?" She said as she answered obviously reading it was me on caller ID.
"I need you to come over asap!" I said shaking.
"Why? What's wrong?" She said panicking.
"Nothing, I don't think, I dunno, just please come over now!"
"Ok, sure, I'm leaving now, I'll get mum to give me a lift." And with that she hung up.
Jayne arrived less than ten minutes later.
"Hey!" She said giving me a massive hug and walking into the living room. "Tell me everything."
I explained everything that had happened from when me and Justin left the night before, and each time I told her about the kiss with Justin and that we went for a three hour lunch she screeched and clapped excitedly.
"So he just left? Without arguing?" She looked as confused as I felt.
"Yep, he just kissed my forehead and left."
"I don't understand."
"That makes two of us... I did the right thing though right?" I looked at her for reassurance.
"Oh my gosh! Of course you did! No way would I let you get back with that jerk!" She hugged me again. "I can't believe Justin kissed you!"
"Well he did." I grinned. "He was with me when Mike was here. Not in here, I mean on the door step. He said about going to cinema but I don't know if he'll want to now. I did kinda, ditch him to talk to Mike."
"Don't be daft! You didn't ditch him, he'll understand, Justin is an amazing guy, he won't unlike you just because you wanted to sort things out with Mike. Well not sort out but you know what I mean."
"Well, shall I call him then?" I asked.
"But I feel rude because now you're here. Maybe we should just watch a movie here, all three of us. It's not fair for you-" She cut in.
"Don't worry about ME! Go to the cinema with Justin, you deserve it."