My heart raced as the words repeated in my head. But I couldn’t bring myself to believe him.
“I need to be alone right now.” A tear began to roll down my cheek. He looked into my eyes and saw the pain he had made me feel. He moved away from the doorway, turned kissed me gently on the forehead and left. I watched him walk down the corridor and out the hospital doors. I walked into my hospital room and looked at Jayne, tears sliding down my face like waterfalls.
“Babes!” She ran over and hugged me. My head fell into her shoulder and I began to sob. It felt so good to finally let it out, it was so hard to hold the tears in. I didn’t want Mike to know how much he’d hurt me. “What happened?”
“I told him he needs to trust me or I’m gone. He did he’s “I’m sorry” face, and was waiting for me to kiss him. But I couldn’t, it’s the first time I couldn’t forgive him, when he’s sorry face didn’t work he told me he loves me.”
Jayne’s face fell to the ground, “what did you say?”
“I couldn’t believe him, I think it was just out of desperation for me to forgive him. I just told him I need to be alone. He kissed me on the forehead and left without another word.” I sniffed. “I’m gonna have to end it with him Jayne.”
“Why? Because of me? No, please you cant, you love him too I know you do.”
“It’s not because of you, it’s the way he treats you and the fact he has no faith or trust in me. I did love him, I don’t anymore.”
“But you’re so happy with him?” She looked completely lost, as if I was speaking another language.
I shook my head, “I haven’t been happy for months. I can‘t pretend anymore.” I continued to soak her entire shoulder with three months worth of hidden tears. Finally, I sniffed and laughed. “You might wanna go home and get a different t-shirt.” I lifted my head and stepped out of our hug. She laughed too, I’ll go get the doctor and see if you’re ok to go home.”
I climbed back in to bed and began to wipe my face. Then my phone began to vibrate on the bedside table. It was a text from Mike. Goodness sake what does he want now? I thought, what an idiot, what part of I want to be alone doesn’t he understand.
I read it anyway and it said:
“Baby, I really am sorry and I love you sooo much, now probably wasn’t the best time to tell you, but I do mean it. You mean so much to me. I promise I’m going to trust you from now on. Please reply so I know we are ok, I don’t want to lose you. This has been the best six months of my life and I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you. There’d be no reason for me to live anymore.”
“Argh!” I yelled slamming the phone down onto the floor. He couldn’t even leave me alone for ten minutes, it’s like he’s suffocating me!
I grabbed the phone and walked as fast as I could manage outside the hospital. I pressed call and waited as it rang.
“Baby?” He asked as he answered.
“Mike, I can’t do this anymore. It’s over.” Before he could answer I hung up and turned my phone off.
When I got back to my room Jayne was waiting for me.
“Babes, where have you been?”
“I was on the phone outside.” I tried to act casual like it was a normal conversation that I would have with anyone on the phone. She looked at me, scanning my face. I smiled quickly.
“I ended it with Mike.” I smiled again, and this time I actually felt happy. For the first time in a long time I felt my face form into a real smile.
“Oh babes, I’m so sorry.”
“I’m not, I’m happy and that’s what matters. Come on let‘s go back to mine, you can stay, I want someone there with me tonight.”
“Ok babes, lets go.”
“I suppose I better get dressed.” I giggled.
I hurried to get changed into my normal clothes. Jayne went to get the nurse to do a final check-up on me to make sure I was ok to be sent home. Everything seemed fit and healthy again, she just told me to be careful and not to get up too quickly when sitting down or anything. After that Jayne and I left, we strolled down the road to the train station and got the next train home. Whilst on the train I turned my phone back on to check for any messages or missed calls. I had seven messages and eleven missed calls, all from Mike of course. I didn’t bother reading them all, but the ones I did read were just apologies and him begging me for forgiveness. After I’d read them I showed them to Jayne.
“What an idiot.” I complained deleting them once we had both read each one.
“He’s obviously sorry Natisha, I think you should give him another chance.” She gave me a sympathetic smile.
“No, I don’t want to be unhappy anymore. I’m sick of living in hell. It’s like he’s squashing me I can’t breathe. He’s constantly accusing me.”
“But he obviously wants to trust you and start again.”
“I don’t care, for once I’m going to be selfish, I want to be happy and he doesn’t make me happy so I don’t want him. Simple as.”
“Ok babes, if that’s what you thinks best.”
“Yes I do.” I let out a little giggle. “Do you like Justin?”
Her eyes grew wide, “Justin? No, he likes you.”
“Yeah, he made that quite clear, but do you like him?”
“Well, yeah. He’s a great guy, but we will only ever be mates. He was really sweet when he was helping you, you should’ve seen the panic and worry in his face it was as if he was one of your mates or something. And then once we were in the ambulance he was holding your hand and talking to me to calm me down.”
“He held my hand?” There was surprise all over my face but it was a happy surprise.
“Yeah because, well I was too busy trying to breathe to hold anything, and then I was panicking even more because I wasn’t right next to you so he held your held so I knew you were ok.”
“That’s sweet.” I smiled. Just as I drifted off imagining him holding my hand, my phone started buzzing. My eyes flung open and a jump out of my seat a bit.
“Who is it?” Jayne asked looking over at the screen of my phone.
“Oh, it’s Justin. I thought it would be Mike again.” I pressed the green answer button. “Hello?”
“Hey Natisha, it’s Justin. How you feeling?”
“I’m ok thanks, on my way home with Jayne now. Thank you so much for taking care of me and stuff, and Jayne too.”
“It was my pleasure, I couldn’t just let you lay there could I? Did you say you were with Jayne? Did Mike go home then?”
“Mike? Oh,” my heart sunk, and it showed in my voice too. “Erm, yeah he had to….erm….go home.”
“Oh dear, what happened? If you don’t mind me asking.”
“Well, we kind of had a little disagreement.” Jayne’s eyes flung at me.
“Disagreement? Ha, ok then.” she laughed sarcastically so Justin called hear her.
“Shut up Jayne!” I snapped.
“Sounds like it was more than a little disagreement?” He questioned me.
“Ok, it was a pretty big row, well actually I ended it with him, but it’s nothing. Anyway we are getting off the train now so I best go. I’ll talk to you soon Justin and thanks again.”
“Oh dear, that’s not good. Erm, ok see you soon. And you’re very welcome Natisha, it was a pleasure.”
I hung up and looked at Jayne, my eyes raging with anger. I got up and departed from the train carriage and onto the platform. Jayne followed behind me in silence.
When we reached the street I began to speed walk when suddenly I felt a hand grab my arm from behind, at first I thought it was Jayne, so I tried to shake it off and carry on walking but the hand didn’t even start to lose grip. I turned around and there was standing Mike. I stood in shock and then looked around, there was no-one there, not even Jayne.
“Where’s Jayne?” I asked trying to hide my panic and confusion.
“She’s safe.” He smiled slyly. “Now come with me baby, you’re coming to mine.”
I tried to struggle out of his grasp but he was too strong. Mike was a lot bigger than me in many ways, he was six foot four inches and was very broad, he also had very big muscles. That was from going to the gym for two hours every night. He used to say it was so he could keep me safe, he said he wanted to be strong so no-one could ever harm me.
“No I’m not. I’m going home! Now let go of me!” I shouted still struggling.
“Listen to me Natisha,” his face was right up in mine, he was gritting his teeth and was whispering, but he’s voice was full of anger and he was grabbing my arm tighter. “If you want Jayne to be ok you will come with me.”
I looked into his blood red eyes, I was mortified. I’d never seen him look so angry before, but he’s eyes didn’t read anger, they were evil. It was like he’d turned psycho within the last three hours.
“What? Where’s Jayne?!” I screamed then, I couldn’t think of what else to do. “JAYNE!“ But no-one came.
“Like I said Jayne is safe, but if you don’t come with me, that will change.” He’s eyes were still evil, as he whispered through his teeth into my ear.
I was trembling, as much as I tried I couldn’t stop, I’d never been so scared in all my life.
“O...ok, I’ll come with you but please let go of my arm, you’re really hurting me Mike.” I pleaded, I was angrier than ever before but I couldn’t show it, not yet.
“Oh sorry baby.” And just like that he let go of my arm and put his arm around my waist instead, rubbing the red mark made by his hand. At this point, I stopped trembling, I knew exactly what to do, and for this I would be forever grateful that I took GCSE drama.
“I’m sorry baby, I love you so much.” I smiled and kissed him. I tried not to show the disgusted I was feeling as he put one hand on my cheek and the other on my low back pushing my body closer to his. Then I felt him move forward slightly so I moved backwards, suddenly he slammed me against the wall. Petrified I throw my eyes open, but he just continued to kiss me. As he kissed me I felt his hands exploring my body, I felt awkward and wanted to cringe but I knew he’d go psycho on me if I did. After about five minutes, I kissed him gently and moved away but smiled.
“It’s getting late baby, my mum will be worried.” I said calmly, trying to convince him to let me go home.
“Well call her and say you’re staying at mine tonight.”
“I can’t do that, you know she won’t let me stay at yours, she knows your parents are away.”
“Then tell her you’re staying at Jayne’s instead.”
“Ok, but where is Jayne?” I asked calmly but my heart was racing so hard it felt like it was going to burst out of my chest.
“Like I said Jayne is safe and she will be unless you argue.”
“Mike, please Jayne is my best friend in the whole world, please tell me where she is. If you love me you wouldn’t do this to me, bribing me to come to yours with you, making out you’ve kidnapped my best friend. It’s just not right.” I started to sound angry so I stopped talking although I had plenty more to say.
“Jayne is at mine with Tristan, I asked him to take care of her and I’d text him if you weren’t cooperating.”
“I’m confused, what will he do to her if I don’t do as I’m told?”
He didn’t answer, he just smiled slyly, looked at me and raised one eyebrow.
“No! You wouldn’t! Surely you wouldn’t?” I was traumatized. Was he implying that Tristan was going to kill Jayne if I didn’t stay with Mike? He truly was a psycho, I had to escape but I had to save Jayne too.
“Ok, let’s go to yours I’ll wait for Mum to call me then I’ll tell her I’m at yours.”
He smiled with satisfaction. As we walked to his house, he continued to hold me round to waist and I held his waist too. He slid the key into the lock cautiously watching me with his eyes.
“I’m not going anywhere baby.” I gave him a reassuring smile.
He smiled back, kissed me on the forehead and opened the door.
“Tristan, I’m back.” He called up the stairs. “It’s ok she’s here with me. Jayne can go now.” Then I saw Jayne running as fast as she could down the stairs, her eyes red sore. I stood in her way at the bottom of the stairs and held my arms out, wrapping them tightly around her neck as she fell into me. Sobbing with horror, I comforted her quietly.
“It’s ok, you’re safe now.” I whispered stroking her hair.
“What did you just say?” Mike roared.
I turned my head quickly giving him a disapproving look. “I just said that it’s ok she’s safe now.”
“Well don’t whisper!” He shouted again, I could feel Jayne shaking in my arms.
“Let her go now Mike, I’ve come here with you like you demanded, I’m not going anywhere ok? So please let her leave and go home.” I pleaded once again.
“Fine.” He stepped up behind me as I continued to hug Jayne tightly and he looked down at her. “If you tell anyone about this, it will be the last thing you ever do.” She nodded slowly showing she understood what he meant. She pushed me away and ran for the front door, but as she opened it she faced me.
“I love you, never forget that. Everything will be ok, I promise.” And then she was gone.
I ran over to Mike wrapping my arms round his neck and kissed him as passionately as I could manage. He stopped me by pulling away after a few minutes and held my hand taking me upstairs. As we entered his bedroom he signaled to Tristan to leave, and he did.
“Do you wanna watch a film?” I asked. I knew what he really wanted to do but he wasn’t going to get it.
“Yeah, sure why not?” He smiled.
I sat on the edge of the bed and looked carefully at the huge tower of DVDs. I took my time choosing I didn’t want to rush anything. After several minutes I picked Dirty Dancing. It was my favourite film of all time and nothing could distract me from watching it, I put it in the DVD player and clicked play. Then I laid back getting comfy and snuggled up to Mike, acting as normal as possible. I could feel my heart still racing uncontrollably fast.
It got to about half an hour into the film when I started to wonder why Mike hadn’t said a word.
“Are you ok?” I asked, actually rather concerned.
“Yes I’m fine baby.” He gave a short smile.
“Ok.” I smiled back and gave him a quick kiss on the lips, but as I went to pull away to continue watching the TV he pushed his lips back onto mine holding my head in his hands. I couldn’t move, I continued to kiss him, resisting the cringe I longed to release. It wasn’t the same as before, after the Mike I had see that evening it was like kissing a stranger.
I froze as I felt his body climbing on top of mine. My eyes flung open.
“Mike?” I paused for a moment. “What are you doing?”
“I’m kissing you baby.”
“But why were you climbing on top of me?” My voice was shaking.
“Because I want you. You know I do.”
“But I’ve told you before I’m not ready for anything like that. It freaks me out when you’re on top of me, it’s like I’m trapped.”
“Exactly.” He smirked. Climbing back on top of me but his time holding my arms up above my head with his, struggling to see what he was doing, I felt a rope wrap around my wrists and hands. He was tying me to the bed. I struggled.
“What are you doing?” I shouted.
“I’m sick of you arguing with me, for once do as you’re told!” He growled back at me.
I sobbed as he tied the ropes tighter around my wrists and then round the poles of the headboard of his bed.
“Stop crying!” He roared. Then his voice softened, it was like he was a different person again. “Baby, please don’t cry. I love you. I’m doing this because I love you and I know you want this. Secretly you do, because I know you love me too.”
Petrified I laid still like a statue. He started to kiss my neck and then I felt nothing for a moment. I closed my eyes tight terrified of what was going to happen next. Then he started kiss my stomach and moved my top up kissing slowly up my body. He started undoing my jean button and I kicked my legs trying to stop him. Suddenly I felt a huge force slam against my face, and it stung. Tears flew down my face as I sobbed. Then he slapped me again, even harder.
“Stop fucking crying you stupid whore!” He yelled at me.
My mouth fell open. What was going on? What had I done to deserve this? I wanted to die!
“Mike please stop!” I screamed. “STOP!”
Then to my rescue there was a knock at the door, but Mike ignored it and continued to unzip my jeans.
“HELP! PLEASE HELP ME!” I screamed, praying whoever was out there could hear me. He covered his hands over my mouth.
“Don’t move!” He threatened.
I froze as he left the room and stomped down the stairs and answered the door. I struggled to undo the ropes wrapped tightly around my wrists. But it was too late, he was already back in the room.
“I hope you weren’t trying to undo them Natisha!” He warned.
I shook my head stiffly. “I’d never do that. They are just a little bit too tight.”
“Well tough, I don’t want you to move. For once I’m gonna get what I want when I want it.”
I shook my head.
“No, please Mike don’t do this!” I pleaded, sobbing once again.
“SHUT UP!” Once again I felt his hand slam against my face.
I gave up nothing was gonna stop him, it was final. He was going to rape me. I couldn’t help wonder if this would have happened if I hadn’t have ended it with him. I scrunched my eyes shut as I felt his body press down onto mine. He yanked off my jeans but I continued to freeze, I didn’t move a muscle. He kissed my lips but I didn’t move mine with his, he slapped me again even harder than the others.
“Fucking kiss me!” He shouted.
“I can’t!” I sobbed. “I just can’t, Mike if you love me you won’t do this.”
“I’m doing this because I love you!” He was still shouting so I kissed him back, my body still stiff. Then my phone began to ring. Crap! I thought.
“It will be my Mum, please let me answer it.”
He picked it up not looking at the screen, pressed the green button and held it to my ear.
“Mum?” I said trying to say as casual as possible.
“Natisha? It’s Justin, are you ok?”
“Yeah I’m fine Mum, I’m just at Mike’s watching a film.”
“No, it’s Justin.”
“I know. Don’t worry I won’t be back too late.”
“Natisha, this isn’t you’re Mum, it’s Justin. Is something wrong?”
“I can’t really talk now Mum.”
“Natisha! What’s going on?”
Mike looked up at me, he must of heard Justin’s voice and realised it wasn’t my Mum.
“Justin! Help me please, get Jayne and come to Mike’s house. He’s gonna-”
It cut off, and before I knew it my phone was in pieces on the floor. I stared at Mike as his head slowly turned to me, petrified, I couldn’t move.